There are some things in my life that I do not care to dwell upon. Description, however vividly it may serve to paint the dauntless courage that has ever borne me safe through dangers, can only give me pain by recalling to me the horrors and the terrors through which I had to pass. The inside of the Pink Hippopotamus was one of these awful situations. Let it suffice to say that I found GANDERDOWN alive, but stertorous, and that I was able to relieve him by undoing his shirt-collar. I had my compass, I had a pair of excellent reins. Why say more? To this day the Ghazis and Mollahs, and the tribe of Hippo-worshippers who are still to be found inhabiting the rocky mountain fastnesses of Jam Tirnova, have been unable to realise why the beast they prayed to should have suddenly taken it into his head, some forty years ago, to make straight for the Diamond City instead of returning, as was his wont, to his gilded stall. But so it was. * * * When we arrived at my headquarters, after I know not how many days, and emerged from our close confinement it was early in the morning. But my father and the MEEBHOY were ready to welcome us. "Sorra one av ye," said the fine old MEEBHOY, "did I ever expect to see in this vale of sorrow, where the schemes of the wicked are like a butter-slide in a pantomime. But I guess you've put the thing through, my son and there's nane ither of a' that come ben the hoose that could have played Billy the Baker's Boy with the Ranee's Pink Hippo." [Illustration: Supporting himself on a single Tip.] The Ranee was of course deposed, and the MEEBHOY was installed in her place. He offered me the command of his army and a salary of two hundred laks a year. But I had had enough of the country, and soon afterwards left for England, taking the sacred animal with me. Unfortunately, however, it died at sea of home-sickness, and had to be consigned to the deep in latitude 25°1, longitude 42°3, I had grown quite attached to the poor beast, and it used to follow me about like a dog, making all kinds of funny noises to express its affection for me, and eating out of my hand with remarkable tameness. Its loss was a great blow to me. [THE END. * * * * * [Illustration: THINGS BETTER LEFT UNSAID. _Husband and Host_ (_waking up from postprandial snooze_). "WHAT--GOING? OH, I'M AFRAID YOU MUST HAVE FOUND IT VERY DULL. I'VE GOT A DREADFUL HABIT OF NAPPING AFTER DINNER!" _Guest._ "_DULL_, MY DEAR FELLOW? IT'S NEVER DULL HERE WHEN _YOU_'RE ASLEEP!"] * * * * * SILENT!