Whose fault? Well, we'll see. But at least you'll agree When Supply's undertaken, and paid, in advance, for, A man expects _something_ for his L. S. D. Then what have you led me this doose of a dance for? That question, old Snorter, demands a prompt answer, And Taurus expects it of you, my Aquarius, Or else, Sir, by Gemini, _I_ shall turn Cancer, And then the monopolists mayn't look hilarious. How do the Water Rates come to my door? 'Twould furnish a subject for some brand-new SOUTHEY. Your dunning Demand Notes are always a bore, But when one is grubby, half frozen and drouthy, When cisterns are empty and sinks are unflushed, And staircases sloppy, and queer smells abounding, To be by an useless Aquarius rushed For "immediate payment" is--well, it's astounding. How _will_ the water come down through the floor When mains are unfrozen and pipes are all "busting"? Why spurting and squirting, with rush and with roar, The wall-papers staining, the fire-irons rusting, And rushing, and gushing, and flashing and splashing, And making a sort of Aix douche of the bedroom, And comfort destroying, and every hope dashing, And leaving one scarce a square yard of dry head-room. 'Twill leak, spirt and trickle, and, oh _such_ a pickle Will make of my dwelling, from garret to basement, Well, that's _after_ thaw. But, by Jove, it _does_ tickle My fancy, and fill me with angry amazement, To see you mere standing ice-cool, and demanding Prompt payment--for what? Why, long waterless worry! Aquarius, we _must_ have a fresh understanding; Till then--"Call again!" and _don't be in a hurry!_ [_Slams door, and retires in dudgeon._ * * * * * MOTTO FOR STOCKBROKERS.--A mine in the Randt is worth two in the Bush. * * * * * [Illustration: QUARTER-DAY; OR, DEMAND AND NO SUPPLY. RATEPAYER. "WHAT'S THIS FOR? _WATER!_ WHY I HAVEN'T HAD ANY!"] * * * * * THE WOMAN WHO WOULDN'T DO. (_She-Note Series._) The two were seated in an untrammelled Bohemian sort of way on the imperturbable expanse of the South Downs. Beneath them was a carpet of sheep-sorrel, its orbicular perianth being slightly depressed by their healthy weight. In the distance they noticed thankfully the saucer-shaped combes of paludina limestone rising in pleasant strata to the rearing scarp of the Weald. PERUGINO ALLAN was the gentleman's name. He had only met PSEUDONYMIA BAMPTON the day before, but already from mere community of literary instincts they were life-long friends. She had reached the trysting-place first. All true modest women do this. [Illustration] "PSEUDONYMIA!" said PERUGINO, blushing easily to his finger-tips.