_Second Gossip._ "NIVVER AS MUCH AS INSIDE T'HOUSE. BUT NOBBUT WAIT TILL _WE_ HEV' A FUNERAL OF US OWN, AN' _WE_'LL SHOW 'EM!"] * * * * * A-DRESS BY MR. SPEAKER. ["Certain Members object to attending the SPEAKER'S dinner or _levées_ in full dress."] _Mr. Speaker._ "Oh, ye must walk in silk attire, And swords and buckles wear, Gin ye wad come to dine wi' me, Or tend my _levées_ mair." _The Members._ "Oh, what's to us your silken show, And swords and buckles smart?-- And if you still insist upon 't, Then you and we must part!" _Mr. Speaker._ "Then ye shall come in what attire It suits ye best to wear, Gin ye 'll consent to mind the Whip, Nor plague the Party mair." * * * * * WORTHY OBJECT.--It is encouraging to hear of a "_Mission to Deep Sea Fishermen_." The deeper the sea-fishermen are, the more necessary is the mission. These Deep Sea-Fishermen are generally supposed to be able to look after their own soles; but now they will receive aid in their work. As the Bishop of LIVERPOOL is a prominent patron of this good work, it may be taken for granted that most of these deep 'uns are fishermen in his Lordship's See. * * * * * AN ACQUITTAL.--With what a sense of relief does a _bon vivant_ who has been brought up by Corporal AILMENT before the Doctor's Court Martial hear the verdict of "Not Gouty!" * * * * * LAW IN BLANK. (_A Natural Development of the Modern System of Suppression._) SCENE--_Interior of one of the Royal Courts. Customary occupants and surroundings._ Witness _in the box undergoing cross-examination_. _First Counsel._ And now will you give me the name of the person you met on that occasion? _Second Counsel._ I do not wish to interfere without reason; but surely it is unnecessary to introduce third parties into this inquiry. _Witness._ Perhaps I might follow the plan I adopted in my examination-in-chief and write the name on a piece of paper? _The Judge._ That seems a reasonable course to pursue. _First Counsel._ As your Lordship pleases. Then be so good as to give me the name as suggested. (Witness _complies_.) Thank you. (_After reading the paper._) Do you spell the name with a final "e"? _Second Counsel._ Really, my learned friend is carrying matters too far. If the anonymity of third parties is to be preserved, such a leading question would reveal the identity at once. _The Judge._ I suppose you mean that the query about the final "e" would indicate that the veiled name was "BROWNE." _Second Counsel._ Quite so, my lord; that is a conclusion that would be accepted by persons of the most ordinary intelligence. _First Counsel._ But as a matter of fact, the name to which I refer is certainly neither BROWN nor BROWNE. I will submit the paper to your lordship.