Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, May 25, 1895Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, May 25, 1895
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Viola._ You are quite wrong. She had writer's cramp, poor thing!
_Muriel._ How absurd, VIOLA! How are you, Dr. ROBERTS!
[Dr. ROBERTS _has iron-grey hair and dark eyes. As he joins
them_ MURIEL _leans down to pat a dog with all the graceful
self-consciousness of youth._ Dr. ROBERTS _looks at_ VIOLA
_admiringly_.
_Viola._ I hope poor JANE is better?
_Dr. Roberts._ Oh yes; she is quite out of the wood now, Mrs. TRAVERS.
In fact, I don't think I need see her anymore. (MURIEL _looks up._)
Perhaps though, I had better just look in--say--on Thursday?
_Viola._ Do; and stay and have some tennis.
[Dr. ROBERTS _accepts with evident enthusiasm, and takes leave
with obvious regret_.
_Muriel_ (_watching him drive away_). Dr. ROBERTS admires you
dreadfully. Is that a romance?
_Viola._ For him perhaps--not for me! And it isn't a mystery!
[_A telegram is brought in._
_Viola._ Oh, how delightful! ALAN ROY, the wonderful boy harpist, is
coming down! He's coming by the early train! He'll be here directly!
_Muriel._ You never told me you had asked him! I suppose you forgot
it--or remembered it. Doesn't he profess to be even younger than he
is? I mean, when he was four, didn't he say he was three? I wonder if
he'll come down in a sailor-suit.
_Viola._ He's quite nineteen. Here are those tiresome AVERIDGES again!
I thought I got rid of them for a long drive. (_Aloud._) Ah! Here is
dear Mr. AVERIDGE!
_Mr. Averidge_ (_ponderously, to_ MURIEL). And how is Miss VANE
to-day? Looking as she always does, like a rose in June.
_Muriel_ (_coldly_). Yes, Mr. AVERIDGE?
_Viola_ (_to_ Mrs. AVERIDGE _and_ ALBERT, _who are coming up the steps
of the terrace_). ALAN ROY is coming down, _the_ ALAN ROY. He will be
here directly.
_Albert._ All right, though I don't approve of child artists. Poor
little chap!
_Viola._ He is very nearly quite grown up, ALBERT! He has golden hair
and any amount of _usage du monde_.
_Muriel._ ALBERT will call it _cheek_--I daresay!
_Mrs. Averidge._ He is most amusing. I met him at Lady BAYSWATER'S. He
looks quite an angel playing the harp.
_Albert._ I hope he'll bring his halo in a hat-box. What is that text
about "Young lions do lack----"
_Muriel._ Oh, ALBERT!
_Servant._ Master ALAN ROY!
_Albert_ (_aside_). Now, don't make the poor child shy.
_Enter_ ALAN ROY. _Tall young man, in light grey suit. He
wears a turned-down collar, a pink button-hole, and carries a
little stick._
_Alan._ How _are_ you, Mrs. TRAVERS? So sweet of you to ask me! Isn't
it a _dear_ day!
[_Greetings._
_Mr. Averidge._ And how did the infant prodigy manage to get here all
alone?
_Alan._ I pushed myself in a perambulator. Miss VANE, you look like a
Botticelli in a Paris dress. I didn't bring my harp, _does_ it matter?
[_Chorus of sham disappointment and real relief._
_Alan_ (_smiling_). It was dreadful of me! But I have been keeping the
poor thing up so late; I thought a rest----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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