CHAMPIONS.--Sir EDWARD GREY, M.P., ought to be a great acquisition at a dance if his prowess as a tennis champion is any indication. "The power with which he often finished the ball" was recently highly praised. His opponent, Mr. GRIBBLE, seems a dangerous man among the ladies, having at Cambridge "won the singles." Quite a Pasha among the "Love sets!" But he could only take one single out of the singles he won. * * * * * ODD.--"Doctor GREEF" is advertised to give three pianoforte recitals. If his performance is equal to what we hear of his promise, then those will experience considerable pleasure who "come to GREEF." * * * * * SMALL BUT HARMONIOUS FOOTBALL TEAM FOR SUMMER.--"The Shinner Quartette." * * * * * [Illustration: WHAT OUR ARCHITECT HAS TO PUT UP WITH. _Our Architect_ (_spotting Sixteenth Century gables_). "THAT'S AN OLD BIT OF WORK, MY FRIEND!" "OI, SIR, YEU BE ROIGHT THEER, THAT YOU BE!" _O. A._ (_keen for local tradition_). "YOU DON'T KNOW EXACTLY _HOW_ OLD, I SUPPOSE?" "WELL, NOA, SIR; BUT OLD IT BE! WHOI, I'SE KNOWED IT MESELF THESE _NOINE_ YEARS!"] * * * * * ODE TO AN OVERCOAT. (_By a Shivery Person, in Spring-time._) "Cast ne'er a clout till May be out," The old Scotch proverb says. Thee, did I doff, "Immensikoff," For three most sultry days. But wind and dust, in gruesome gust, Search bosom, back and throat; And to my nose I button close My fur-lined Overcoat. The Merry May has such a way Of blowing hot and cold, That fur and cloth I'm always loth Away, in Spring, to fold. _Gr-r-r!_ There's a blast! I'll hold thee fast Dear friend on whom I doat; Nor lay thee by till--say--July, My own, my Overcoat! * * * * * LEGAL NOTE.--It is presumably unfortunate for the prisoner-at-the-bar when, as is constantly announced in the papers, "Mr. So-and-So, Q.C., will appear to defend SNOOKS." Hard on SNOOKS when his Counsel only _appears_ to defend him. But what a sweet surprise for the unhappy SNOOKS should the Counsel, who only "appears to defend him," _really_ defend him and be victorious! * * * * * "VOX CLAMANTIS."--The voice of the Claimant is heard once again. No joke; no Wagga-Waggery. He is publishing his "Entire Life and Full Confession" in the _People_ newspaper. According to his own statement, his claim to the Tichborne estates might be described, not only as a fraud, but as a "Wapping" one. * * * * * TO A COUNTRY HOST. (_A Candid Answer to a Hospitable Invitation._)