_Editor_ (_after consideration_). Well, it might give us an effective line for the bill. (_A whistle is heard:_ Editor _listens at a speaking-tube._) Afraid we must sacrifice it. Manager tells me there is another rush of advertisements, so space is more precious than ever. You had better boil it down into a three-line paragraph. _Chief Sub._ No need to do that, Sir. If there's a scarcity of room we had better give the original telegram. _Editor._ The original telegram? _Chief Sub._ Yes, Sir; from which we have worked up the extended account. Here it is. (_Reads._) "Loamshire, after a skirmish, has reached Pennavilla." That, with a suitable heading, will just complete the column. _Editor._ Quite so. [_Scene closes in upon the arrangement._ * * * * * [Illustration: "WAS HE VERY MUCH CAST DOWN AFTER HE'D SPOKEN TO PAPA?" "YES. THREE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS!"] * * * * * A MOAN IN MAYTIME. _By a Weary Waltonian._ Oh, Maytime is a gay time for the artist and the dangler, The pretty girl, the parson, and the scout; And it ought to be a time of rosy rapture for the angler, In the capture of the delicate May trout. But though SMUDGE, R.A., "feels fine" with his six upon the line, And the dangler "does" the galleries with delight; Though white-chokered clerics muster amidst eloquential fluster, And our girls salute the Season sweet and bright; Though the "Cattylog" vendors shout, and cab-runners scout and tout, The disciple of Old IZAAK is not gay, For although the "Grawnom" 's off, and the trout at "Alders" scoff, The May Fly--drat it, does _not_ rise in May! * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P. _House of Commons, Monday, May 13._--"Well," said the Member for the Otley division of Yorkshire, "I suppose I've gone through as many vicissitudes as most men. First I was a BARRAN, now I'm a baronite. Really, I don't know but what, if they'd made me an earl, I wouldn't go and sit in the House of Lords. Not because, as good Radical, I don't despise them, but just to give them advantage of my company, and place in their way a useful example. Instead of which, here's WOLMER become Earl of SELBORNE, and insists upon continuing to sit with us!" Incursion of the Pirate Peer effectively managed. Those old campaigners, GEORGE CURZON and ST. JOHN BRODRICK, took the business in hand. The thing was to be a great surprise. Accordingly, took the SPEAKER into confidence, also the SQUIRE OF MALWOOD (The Little Minister, MACFARLANE, who has just been reading BARRIE, calls him), PRINCE ARTHUR, JOSEPH, and a score or two others. The Pirate Peer was to come down in hansom at four o'clock, to be met by BRODRICK in Palace Yard; CURZON, armed to the teeth, standing at fifty paces nearer entrance to House of Commons.