The GRAND YOUNG GARDNER smiled at the claims of long descent put forward by RASCH on behalf of the tenants of his _bon-bon_ box. "Nothing new in it," he said superciliously. "Known the creature all my official life. Your so-called American pea-bug is nothing more than the pea and bean weevil. Came over with the Conqueror. Agricultural Department even now publishing leaflet describing manners and customs of the early settler, and suggesting various ways of soothing its last moments." [Illustration: "I may have been Rash."] This hard; sorer still conduct of Members immediately near the Major. Began to sheer off, putting him, so to speak, in quarantine. "I don't care," said TOMLINSON, "whether its American pea-bugs or the pea and bean weevil. What I do say is that no man has any business to bring such things with him into the social circle." "I may have been Rash," said the Major humbly. "You are," said TOMLINSON tartly. _Business done._--Coolness sprung up between TOMLINSON and Major RASCH. Budget Bill read second time. _Friday._--"Pity the sorrows of the poor postman, whose wandering steps has brought him to your door." Thus KEARLEY, in a long speech, from which it appeared that if there is a down-trodden fellow-creature whose state looks hopeless, it is the postman. The story of the man in Wales who trudged seventy miles a day, including the diurnal ascent of a mountain 7,000 feet high, sent thrill of horror through House. KEARLEY subsequently explained he meant 700 feet high. But that a detail. Seven seems to be this man's fateful number, for his pay is seven shillings a week--a shilling a day, including the mountain. ARNOLD MORLEY, on other hand, showed that the lot of the postman is truly idyllic. Handsomely paid when on duty; booted and uninformed; is accustomed to retire in the prime of life on pension amounting to two-thirds of his salary. "Why," said WILLIE REDMOND, thinking regretfully of days that are no more, when JOSEPH GILLIS carried the bag, "as things go now, it's better to be a postman than an Irish Member." Finally decided to appoint Committee to inquire into truth of these conflicting statements. _Business done._--Didn't get into Committee on Civil Service Estimates. * * * * * NEW VERSION OF AN OLD PROVERB. (_For the Use of Local Optionists._)--One Vetoist may keep a toper from his favourite pub; but fifty cannot make him drink--water. * * * * * "THE IMMORTAL WILLIAMS" ON THE ANTI-BRITISH MOVEMENT IN EGYPT.--"Oh, my prophetic soul, DELONCLE!"--_Shakspeare, adapted from the French._ * * * * * Transcriber's Note: Page 245: 'conseqeuntly' corrected to 'consequently'. "... and Mr. HOWE was consequently appointed to the post." End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, May 25, 1895, by Various