_Hercules_ (_Prince Bismarck_). "I BELIEVE THAT FEMALE SYMPATHY WITH OUR POLITICAL INSTITUTIONS IS A MUCH STRONGER BULWARK AGAINST SOCIAL DEMOCRACY THAN OUR REVOLUTION BILL WOULD HAVE BEEN IF IT HAD BEEN PASSED." (_See Daily Papers._)] * * * * * [Illustration: _New Assistant_ (_after hair-cutting, to Jones, who has been away for a couple of weeks_). "YOUR 'AIR IS VERY THIN BE'IND, SIR. TRY SINGEING!" _Jones_ (_after a pause_). "YES, I THINK I WILL." _N. A._ (_after singeing_). "SHAMPOO, SIR? GOOD FOR THE 'AIR, SIR." _Jones._ "THANK YOU. YES." _N. A._ "YOUR MOUSTACHES CURLED?" _Jones._ "PLEASE." _N. A._ "MAY I GIVE YOU A FRICTION?" _Jones._ "THANK YOU." _N. A._ "WILL YOU TRY SOME OF OUR----" _Manager_ (_who has just sighted his man, in Stage whisper_). "YOU IDIOT! _HE_'S A SUBSCRIBER!!"] * * * * * WAITING FOR NASRULLA. ["The original arrangements for NASRULLA KHAN'S reception in London have undergone considerable alteration."--_Daily Paper._] "Of course we ought to act on precedent." said Wise Man Number One. "We can't be far out if we do that." "I am not so sure," replied Number Two of the Series. "When the SHAH came over we gave him a prize-fight at Buckingham Palace, and the entertainment subsequently caused much hostile criticism in Clapham." "It is to be regretted," sighed the Third, "that the Polytechnic Institution no longer exists. It would have amused his Highness to have descended in the diving bell." "No doubt," put in the initial speaker; "but something of the same effect might be obtained by conducting NASRULLA either to the Museum of Mines in Jermyn Street or the Diploma Gallery at Burlington House." "Quite so. And what do you say to the Natural History Museum, and a special visit in semi-state to the top of the Monument?" This suggestion was well received. Then a trip to Kew, and a ride on the Elephant at the Zoo were considered not unfavourably. "Shall he go to any of the theatres?" was the next question. "It may be a little dangerous to his morals if he understands English," seemed to be the popular answer. Then a visit to a music-hall under the immediate supervision of the London County Council was proposed. Then a Wise Man (less sage than the majority of his fellows) proposed a little "slumming." "He might visit the East End, and pass a night in a Casual Ward." Fortunately for the honour of the British Empire the proposal was negatived without the formality of a division. "Could he be exhibited at a side show, either at Sydenham, Earl's Court, or West Kensington?" Again there was a shout of "No." The visit of the Representative of the Ameer was not to be made a source of income to the Imperial, or, if it came to that, any other Exchequer.