This is rather fun! Ever so much better than those crawling old mail-carts and perambulators. Wonder mother and nurse never thought of it before. A pneumatic tandem, too, I notice. Hope they understand blowing tire up again when it bursts. Nurse a duffer at pedalling. A mere passenger! Have to keep her up to the mark by crying. Frightened a pony in a trap. Sarcastic driver said, "_You_ don't want a bell to _your_ machine with that child yelling like a tom-cat on fire." Gives me a hint--I must see how our cat _does_ yell when it's on fire. Really, I never saw such steering! Mother has just run us into a brick wall. Disgraceful! Why wasn't she taught tricycling when she was young? Her education has certainly been horribly neglected. [Illustration] Why should I sit in the middle, though? Can't see the country properly. Make another protest--louder, if possible. Passing pedestrian observes, "You should call your machine a crycycle, not a tricycle." Put out my tongue at him. Nurse offers to give me a "pick-a-back"; says she can pedal too! The old humbug! Scratch her face. Mother offers me a seat on front handle. Not half bad. Fresh air makes one uncommonly hungry. Time for my bottle. Insist on my outriders stopping at a public for milk. Find the pony, trap, and sarcastic driver stopping there too. Latter says to Mother, "So you've brought the infant phenomenon with you, Ma'am!" Wonder what he means. He adds something about a "fog-horn." Rude, I fancy. Back homewards. Awfully sleepy after that milk. Curious milk. Perhaps sarcastic person drugged it to quiet me? Fast asleep. Wakened by crash! Stars! Oh, _what_ is it? Try to yell--can't--mouth full of something. Later. In my cot, thank Heaven! Heard doctor say, "Severe shock, but no bones broken." Awful headache. Seems that break went wrong going down-hill. Well, no "safety tandem" for _me_ again--can't _stand 'em_, myself, not being in favour of infanticide. Give _me_ a good old mail cart! * * * * * [Illustration: FELINE AMENITIES. _Miss Tregushing._ "OH YES! THERE ARE SUCH _LOVELY_ SEAS AND SKIES IN CORNWALL, AND SUCH ROCKS AND CAVES--AND SEALS--AND THE _MOST_ MAGNIFICENT WILD WAVES YOU EVER SAW--AND----" _Mrs. Frou-Frou._ "BUT NO DRESS-MAKERS, I SUPPOSE!"] * * * * * JOHN STANDS ALOOF. (SHIMONOSEKI, 1895.) ["Circumstances might arise, of course, in which we should feel called upon to safeguard our interests, but so far we discern no adequate ground for interference."--_The "Times" on the Joint Protest of Russia, France and Germany against the annexation portion of the Treaty of Shimonoseki._] AIR--"_The Heathen Chinee._" JOHN BULL _sings:_-- I stand by, and I mark, And I see some things plain; And the looks that are dark At the JAP'S game, and gain, From that Heathen Chinee, are peculiar; But aloof _I_'m content to remain!