"Now, to none do I yield in my love of VANDYCK-- I adore the Italians--bow down to the Dutch; VELASQUEZ I worship, and GOYA I like Very much. "But alas! for the SHEEPSHANKS and VERNONS of old-- For the HILLS and the rest of a connoisseur race! Old MECÆNAS has gone; and investors of gold Take his place." _Second R.A._ "'Old Masters' they buy--any ancient design-- Eighteen-thirty or so is the latest they'll own; None but 'made reputations'--no work, howe'er fine, If unknown." _Outsider._ "Their Art's in their bankers'-books, not in their eyes To encourage the artist is none of their plan; They seek an investment that's likely to rise-- To a man. "Do they think that fine art nowhere else can be seen But in saint that is squint-eyed, or boor that is drunk, In brown tree, Dutch canal, man with ruff, or the lean Spanish monk?" _Second R.A._ "Just reflect to what artists of old had been brought (Such as REYNOLDS, or RAPHAEL, or PHIDIAS the Greek) Had their patrons informed them they meant to buy nought But antique!" _Outsider._ "Then, _our_ drawing is better--our atmosphere too. _Plein air_ was ignored, or they voted it vice. As to '_values_,' 'twas little they thought of or knew-- Save of price." _First R.A._ "When men buy modern art, they buy Leightons and Moores And Sargents and Swans and the rest of our lot; But as to their _knowledge_--like mine or like yours-- Tommy rot!" _Second R.A._ "Do you think they appreciate LEWIS'S skies-- Do they care if they're worked up in stipple or wash? Do you think it's the _Art_ (not the money) they prize? Simply bosh!" _Outsider._ "No. They judge not by Art--they judge only by fame; And the artist may starve on his poor pallet-bed; But their hundreds and thousands they shower on his name When he's dead!-- "When the two Greatest Masters--Old Varnish and Time-- To his work superficial beauties have lent, Lo behold, they appreciate! Be it so. _I'm_ Quite content." * * * * * [Illustration: "1895." THE ROYAL ACADEMY FIELD DAY.] * * * * * A FRIEND AT A PINCH. (_An Utterly Impossible Incident that will never be "Reported."_) SCENE--_A Court of Law. Experienced Counsel arguing a point in the teeth of his Lordship on the Bench._ _His Lordship_ (_angrily_). No, Mr. BANDS, I really cannot agree with you. It seems to me that you are merely wasting our time, and no doubt your own. _Experienced Counsel_ (_politely_). Not at all, my Lord. I scarcely venture to urge the great importance of the matter to my client. _His Lordship._ No doubt; and your client showed excellent judgment in entrusting his interests to your hands. Still law is law, and can never be anything else.