Now _I_ say a Briton's a Briton wherever he happens to go. He has got to be "taken as written," with freedom his briar to blow, His flannels and bowler to sport, his opinions and tastes to express, As he would in Hyde Park or the Strand, _and he won't be contented with less_. He takes "_Rule, Britannia_" along with him, young JOHNNY BULL does, you bet; And it's no use for Germans to grunt, and it's no use for Frenchmen to fret. We've got to be _free_, my dear fellow,--no matter if welcome or not,-- And to slang us as "'Arries Abroad" _for_ that freedom is all tommyrot. That Johnny who writes about 'ARRY--in _Punch_ don'tcher know--is a Rad, I can see it as plain as be blowed; and he labels the lot of us "Cad", If we've patriot hearts and high spirits, talk slang, and are fond of a spree, But _his_ 'ARRY's no class, and it's like his dashed cheek to confound him with _me!_ He's done heaps of mischief, that joker, along of his levellin' trick, Of tarrin' the classes and masses, without any judgment or pick, With one sweepin' smudge of his tar-brush. Cad! Cad! Cad!--all over the shop!-- I'm sure _he_'s a bloomin' outsider, and wish _Punch_ would put on the stop. _I_ like easy ways and slang-patter, _I_'m Tory and patriot all round,-- As every true Englishman _must_ be who isn't an ass or a hound,-- But your ill-spellin', aitch-droppin' howler, with "two quid a week"--as he brags-- Isn't _me_, but a Battersea bounder with big bulgy knees and loud bags. I _did_ do the boulevards once in striped knickers and straw, I admit; And once in a Catholic church I will own I did laugh fit to split. But then, foreign tastes are so funny, and foreign religions so rum; And if they _will_ play mumbo-jumbo, how _can_ a smart Johnny keep mum? It is all the dashed foreigners' fault. They don't relish _our_ up-and-down style; They smirk and they play monkey-tricks and then scowl if we happen to smile. They hate us like poison, and swear 'tis because of our "swagger and bounce," But it's BULL'S fightin' weight that they funk, and by gad, they know that to an ounce! There! I've let off the steam, and feel better! We need "Coalition" all round, We gents, against Cad-dom, _and_ Rad-dom,--_they_ don't differ much, I'll be bound-- We've got it in Parliament--rippin'!--and if the same scheme we can carry In social arrangements, why _then_ 'ARRY won't be confounded with HARRY. * * * * * SCRAPS FROM CHAPS. ON A CROSS BENCH.--The Union of Hearts does not seem to have spread as far as Limerick, if the meetings of the Limerick Rural Sanitary Board are any test. One member expressed an opinion that the Conservative Government would do as much for the labourers as the Whig Government had done. Mr. M'MAHON.--We'll give them a chance. Mr. M'INERNEY.--We have got very little out of the Liberal Government.