Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, August 17, 1895Various
General
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, August 17, 1895
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
No, _I_ ain't bin nowhere partickler.... Settled? yus, it's all settled
'bout me goin' ter the kerntry.... To-morrer? no, I ain't goin'
_to-morrer_.... Nex' week? not as I _knows_ on.... You wanter know sech
a _lot_, you do!... If I _do_ tell yer, you'll on'y go an' larf....
Well, I ain't goin' at all--_now_ I 'ope you're pleased.... What's the
good o' bein' _sorry?_... Oh, I don't keer much, I don't.... Set down
on this step alonger me, then, and don' you go sayin' nuffink, or I'll
stop tellin' yer.... You remember me goin' in yes'day arternoon to 'ear
what the lidy said? Well, when I got in, I 'eard 'er s'y, "Yus, it'll
be a great disappintment fur 'IM, pore boy," she sez, "arter
lookin' forward to it an' all; but it can't be 'elped." An' Muvver, she
sez, "'Is Farver'll be sorry, too; it done JIMMY ser much good
larst time. 'E can't pay not more nor 'arf-a-crownd a week towards it,
but he can manage that, bein' in work jes now." But the lidy sez, "It's
this w'y," she sez, "it costis us neelly arf a suffering over what the
parints pays fur each child, and we ain't got the fun's fur to send
more 'n a few, 'cos the Public don' suscroibe ser much as they might,"
she sez. "An' so this year we're on'y sending children as is delikit,
an' reelly _wants_ a chinge." So yer see, I ain't a goin'. I dunno as
I'm delikit; but I _do_ want the kerntry _orful_ bad, I do. I wish I
never 'adn't bin there at all, 'cos then preps I shouldn' mind. An' yit
I'm gled I bin, too. I dreamt about it larst night, FLORRIE,
I did. I was a-settin' on this 'ere step, sime as I am now, an' it
was 'ot an' stoiflin', like it is; an' all of a suddink I see Mr.
KENNISTER'S cart wiv the grey 'orse turn into our court an'
pull up hoppersite, an' _Bob Rumble_ 'e was a-drivin' on it. An 'e sez
"Jump up!" he sez, "and I'll tike yer back to Mr. DELVES'S
cottidge." And I sez, "May FLORRIE come too." An 'he sez,
"Yus, both on yer." So up we gits, an' we was droivin' along the lanes,
an' I was showin' yer the squills an' the stagses, an' jes as we come
to the turn where yer kin see the cottidge----Well, I don' remember no
more on it. But it was a noice dream so fur as I got wiv it, an' if I
'adn't never bin there, I couldn' ha' dreamt it, _could_ I, eh? An',
like as not, I'll dream the rest on it anuvver night.... An' you must
try an' dream your share, too, FLORRIE. It'll be a'most like
bein' in the kerntry in a sort o' w'y fur both on us, won't it?
THE MORAL.--The offices of the Children's Country Holidays
Fund are at 10, Buckingham Street, Strand, and contributions should be
made payable to the Hon. Treasurer.
* * * * *
"Now I'm set up!" as the first page in type observed to his companion
pages in MS.
* * * * *
"RULE, 'BRITANNYER'!"
_Being a loyal letter from Mr. Jeames, at Cowes Regatta, to Mary in
Mayfair._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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