But, alas! for those who have to do the gleaning! * * * * * A TRIP "PER SEA." _Projected Re-visitation_--_Ilfracombe_--_Torrs Walks_--_En route_--_Start_--_In Dock_--_Out_--_Tender Thoughts_--_On Board_--Reception--_Greetings_--_Exciting Search_--_Parting_--_Off!_ _Happy Thought._--Revisit Ilfracombe. Hire highest possible house at the lowest possible price close to celebrated "Torrs Walks." Why called "Torrs Walks"? Probably original TORRS who discovered Ilfracombe used to walk here; one stormy night TORRS lost his head and legs; then fell from sheer height of several hundred feet into boiling sea; boiling sea made it hot for the unhappy TORRS; TORRS only walking, not swimming. Therefore end of TORRS. Family name perpetuated in Walks. Years ago, price to ascend Torrs was one penny per head, body included. Tariff gone up since then. To Torrs Torr-tuous Turnings admission Twopence. Extra penny might have improved paths. Here there is as much "winding up" as in bankruptcy. "_Excelsior_" is motto of visitor; likewise of proprietor who put on the extra penny. No matter; not another spot in England where pedestrian can get better air, better exercise, and finer views, all for twopence! _Friendly Advice--gratis._--Always carry waterproof. If practicable get someone to carry it for you. Never know when you may want it, or when you mayn't. Stop for five o'clock tea on Torrs top. Whistle merrily "_Torr-eador contento_" as you descend, and you will be giving one of the best airs in _Carmen_ in return for about the finest air in Devonshire. _How to get to Ilfracombe._--Per rail, London and South-Western. Picturesque line of country. Another, and a longer _route_, per _mare et terram_, and therefore more varied and health-refreshing, which are important points to score if your holiday be circumscribed, is to take passage on board steamer, Pacific Orient Line for choice, which stops at Plymouth _en route_ to give a last glance at Old England before proceeding across the Bay of Biscay to Naples, and, ultimately, Australia. Only drawback to this is the start from Fenchurch Street. Fenchurch Street Station enough to make anyone start. Wanted here a spacious, light and airy place where passengers carrying "hand properties" can move about rapidly without loss of that equanimity of temper which every traveller should cultivate under circumstances that would try even the joviality of that utterly impossible creation _Mark Tapley_. Still _Mark Tapley_ is an ideal to be lived up to as near as may be; and the passenger who, with bag in hand, while struggling with mixed crowd in Fenchurch Street Station on the departure of any important Tilbury Dock train, can be jovial or even ordinarily polite, is already in a fair way towards earning the Ideal Tapley Medal.