At the moment of writing, his inclination gaily suggest "Greenland," while his banking-account sternly whispers "Southend or Herne Bay." In the meanwhile, the Years'-stricken Looker-out remains at his post, and, with a hand trembling with age and emotion, proudly appends a signature not his own. THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS. * * * * * TOWN VERSUS COUNTRY. (_An Intercepted Letter._) [Illustration] MY DEAR BOB,--I have got your note, sympathising with me on my sad fate of being "tied to town" in August. Don't cry while you are in the wood. I can assure you that bricks and mortar are just as pleasant as green leaves. Not that we do not have the latter. Hyde Park is at its best, and Battersea is beautiful beyond compare. And mind you, my lad, it is unnecessary to stroll through either in the height of May Day fashion. The House is sitting, and the Irish Members are quite equal to keeping both sides on the move. And at night we have plenty of gaiety, not only in the Strand, where _The Shop Girl_ is as popular as ever, but at the Lyric too, where _The Artist's Model_ is a pattern of prosperity. Then there are the halls of dazzling delight. _Titania_, at the Alhambra, and _Faust_, at the Empire, leave nothing to be desired save a lot more of them. So, my dear young friend do not condole before you have reason. London is going well and strong, and, while this happens, I can dispense with the jocular joys of Shrimpington-on-Sea. Yours, cheerfully, DOLLY. * * * * * M'CARTHY'S MOTTO (_the wish being father to the thought_).--"Sic transit gloria REDMONDI!" * * * * * [Illustration: UNLUCKY SPEECHES. _She._ "OH, MR. SORNEY, I AM SO GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTFULNESS IN WRITING SO PROMPTLY TO TELL ME OF POOR HARRY'S ACCIDENT!" _He._ "PRAY DON'T MENTION IT--I WAS VERY GLAD INDEED TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY OF DOING IT!"] * * * * * "THE CHILDREN'S COUNTRY HOLIDAYS FUND." It will be remembered that a fortnight since appeared in _Punch_ (Vol. 109, No. 2823) an article entitled "The Country of Cockaigne," written as a reminder that the above excellent fund was not only in existence, but sorely in need of contributions. Since then the appeal has been answered by the charitably disposed, and acknowledged by the proper official at head-quarters. It is gratifying to learn that the paper published in these pages has been of signal service to the young clients for whom author and artist plied pen and pencil with so much goodwill. It is not customary to publish "serious" contributions from voluntary contributors in these columns, but the following extract from a letter received from the Secretary of the "Children's Country Holidays Fund" is such pleasant reading that an apology for its insertion seems superfluous:--