But he was very stiff and proud; He said, "You needn't shout so loud!" And he was very proud and stiff; He said, "I'll try and wake them, _if_----" I put his "answer" on the shelf: I said, "I'll wake them up myself!" He cried, "No good! The door is locked, I've pulled, and pushed, and kicked, and knocked. And when I found the door was shut I tried to turn the handle, _but_----" There was a long pause. "Is that all?" ALICE timidly asked. "That's all,--_for the present_," said HUMPTY-DUMPTY. * * * * * [Illustration: "A TIMPORARY OBSTHRUCTION." TRUCULENT TIM, THE AMBIGUOUS PATRIOT. "GIT OUT O' THE ROAD, IS IT? BE AISY NOW--WILL ME CONSCHIENCE LET ME?" ["There was a suggestion on the part of the Government that everyone was anxious to get away from the House. Some people certainly were not.... He had no anxiety to get away, but was most anxious to turn the House to account in the interest of his constituents and the country generally, though they all meant different things when they used that expression."--_Mr. T. M. Healy (Louth, N.) in the House of Commons._]] * * * * * A TRIP "PER SEA." _Appetite--Steward--Wandering--The Cigar--Umbrella--Suspicions--Judicial--Interrogation--Evidence--Stowaway --Verdict--Off--Surmise--Lunch--Afloat--Night--Morning--Away--Landing._ [Illustration] Suddenly aware of commencement of what promises to be uncommonly fine and large appetite when it reaches maturity. _Happy Thought._--Find steward. _Still Happier Thought._--Finding steward, not for the purpose usually associated with calling for that official on a rough day between Dover and Calais. On present occasion only to ask him, when found, the hour of lunch. Somehow he eludes my search. After wandering about vaguely into several other persons' cabins, I find myself suddenly on a narrow lower deck. Don't know its technical name. And now "a strange thing happens." Before me, leaning against a rail, is the portly, or rather sea-portly, jovial-looking individual, whose acquaintance I have already made in captain's cabin, thoughtfully finishing a cigar. By the way, at any period of our too-brief acquaintance I never see him without cigar, which he is always just finishing, but never commencing. At this moment his cheery countenance wears as hard an expression, quite unnatural to it, as it could by any possibility assume for more than three minutes at a stretch, He is addressing a flabby, cadaverous-looking individual in seedy black trousers and coat, one button of which conceals the upper part of a waistcoat made of some "washing material," and apparently as greatly in need of the cleansing process as is its wearer. In one ill-shaped, dirty hand he holds a very superior class of umbrella, with a gold tip to it. I at once jump to the conclusion that its present possessor, having come by it dishonestly, has been taken dirty-red handed, and