_Mr. McPairtan_ (_from the North, to his small nephew_). Eh, ROBBIE, my man, I'm thinking your mither wouldna' just approve o' my takkin' ye to sic a perfairmance as yon Burrmese dancing-women.... Nay, nay, laddie, there's deceitfulness eneugh in the naitural man withoot needing to lairn ony mair o't fro' these puir juggling Indian bodies wi' their snake-chairmin' an' sic godless doins!... Ride on the elephant? Havers! Ye can do that fine in the Zooloagical Gairdens.... 'Twould be just sinful extrawvagance in me to be throwing away guid siller wi' so mony bonny sichts to be seen for naething. _Mr. Gourmay_ (_who is dying for his dinner, to his pretty cousins, who cannot be got past the Indian craftsmen_). Yes, yes, very interesting, and all that; but we can see it just as well if we come back _later_, you know. _His Cousin Belle._ But they may have stopped by then. I _must_ just see him finish the pattern; it's too _fascinating!_ _Mr. Gourm._ I--er--don't want to _hurry_ you, you know, only, you see, if we don't look sharp, we shan't be in time to secure an outside table at the Restaurant. Much jollier dining in the open air. _His Cousin Imogen._ Oh, it's too hot to _think_ of food. I'm not in the _least_ hungry--are _you_, Belle? _Belle._ No; I'd ever so much rather see the Burmese dancers and the Indian conjurors. I don't want to waste the best part of the evening over dinner; we might have some of that nice Indian tea and a piece of cake by-and-by, perhaps, if there's time. [_Speechless delight of_ Mr. GOURMAY. _Energetic Leader_ (_to his party, who are faint, but pursuing_). No, there's nothing particular to see here. I tell you what _my_ plan is. We'll go and do the Kinetoscopes and the Phonographs, have a look at the Great Wheel, and some shots at the Rifle Range, cross over and take a turn on the Switchback, finish up with a cold-meat supper at SPIERS AND POND'S, and a stroll round the band-stand, and, by the time we've done, we shall have got a very fair idea of what India's _like!_ _First Relative_ (_to Second_). What's become of Aunt JOANNA? I thought she was going on one of the elephants. _Second Relative._ She would have it none of 'em looked strong enough for her. And what _do_ you think she goes and does next? Tries to bargain with a black man to take her for a turn on one o' them little bullock-carts! I really hadn't the patience to stop and see what come of it. _Miss Rashleigh_ (_by the Burmese Cheroot Stall, audibly, to her companion_). Just look at this girl, my dear, with a great cigar in her mouth! Fancy their being New Women in Burmah! And such a _hideous_ creature, too! _Her Companion._ Take care, my dear, she'll hear you. I expect she understands English. _Miss Rashleigh_ (_with ready tact and resourcefulness_). Then let's tell her how pretty she is! IN THE INDIAN JUNGLE.