_The Magician_ (_to_ EDWIN). Verri nice sna-akes; but where is my monni? (EDWIN _shakes his head helplessly_.) Ah, dis Inglisman too moch plenti cheat. (_He seizes_ EDWIN'S _nose, from which he extracts a shower of shillings_.) Aha! Verri goot Inglis nose--hold plenty monni! _Angelina_ (_as_ EDWIN _returns to her in triumph_). No; _please_ turn your head away, EDWIN. I can't _look_ at your nose without thinking of those horrid shillings; and oh, are you _quite_ sure you haven't got any of those horrid snakes up your sleeve? I do _wish_ you hadn't gone! [_So does_ EDWIN. _A Serious Old Lady_ (_as the_ Magician _produces from his throat several yards of coloured yarn, a small china doll, about a gross of tenpenny nails, and a couple of eggs_). Clever, my dear? I daresay; but it seems to me a pity that a man who has been given such talents shouldn't turn them to better account! * * * * * ELECTION INTELLIGENCE. _Brybury-on-the-Pocket._--Both candidates very busy. Meetings are being held all day long at the principal hotels, and any number of livery-stable-keepers have promised to lend their carriages on the day of election. The agents on either side have an enormous staff of assistants, and trade was never known to be brisker during the present century. _Crowncrushington._--This will be a very near contest. As political feeling runs rather high, a number of extra beds have been prepared in the hospitals. The police have been reinforced, and the military are close at hand, and every other preparation has been made to secure the declaration of the poll with as little friction as possible. _Meddle-cum-Muddleborough._--At present there are seven candidates, but as three of these have issued their manifestoes under some misapprehension it is not unlikely that the number will be reduced before the day of nomination. It is not easy to foretell the result, as since the establishment of the ballot every election has ended not only in surprise but stupefaction. _Selfseekington._--It is not unlikely that there will be no contest in this important borough. The (until recently) sitting member has fixed the day that would naturally have fallen to the function of the returning officer for the laying of the foundation stones of his Baths, Wash-houses, Free Library and Town Hall, and the opening of his Public Park. _Wrottenborough._--The popular candidate has pledged himself to supporting Local Veto, the Licensed Victuallers, Establishment, Disestablishment, Home Rule, the Integrity of the Empire, Anti-Vaccination, the Freedom of the Medical Profession, and many other matters of conflicting importance. The polling will be of a perfunctory character, as expenses are being cut down on both sides. _Zany-town-on-the-Snooze._--There will be no contest in this division. At present there is no intelligence of any sort to chronicle. * * * * *