READY AND WILLING (_in the Cornell-Leander Fiasco_).--One crew wasn't "ready," but the starter was "WILLAN"--like _Barkis_. The Cornell crew was ready and willin'. So they had the starter with them at all events; and, they started. Angry partisans described the proceeding as "Willanous." So it was,--from one point of view. * * * * * ELECTION PARADOXES.--Standing for a seat, and running against a sitting Member. * * * * * THE GENERAL ELECTION CRY.--"Take your seats, Gentlemen!" * * * * * [Illustration: AGGRAVATING FLIPPANCY. _The Professor_ (_who has just come back from the North Pole_). "----AND THE FAUNA OF THESE INHOSPITABLE REGIONS IS AS POOR AS THE FLORA! YOU COULDN'T NAME A DOZEN ANIMALS WHO MANAGE TO LIVE THERE." _Mrs. Malapert._ "OH--I DARE SAY I COULD!" _The Professor._ "REALLY--WHAT _ARE_ THEY?" _Mrs. Malapert._ "WELL, NOW--FIVE POLAR BEARS, LET US SAY, AND--AND SEVEN SEALS!"] * * * * * IL "TRUE BLUE" INGLESE. _All' illustrissimo Signor Punch._ ILLUSTRIOUSEST SIR,--I feel myself in duty of to write to her these few lines for to tell to her the my opinion of the of her country. Ah, the beautiful England! One speaks in Italy of the _cielo inglese_, when the sky is grey and overcast. For the first time I come now in the my ship to the of her country. _Ecco_, the sky is blue! In the our country so many things are blue--the sky, the sea, the lakes, the distant mountains, but in the our language not there is the word "blue." One says "azure" or "turquoise," but not the general term "blue." Therefore before I come to England I think, "We Italians see the colour blue, but not can say it, and these english have the word, but see never the colour." And _ecco_ I arrive, and the sky is blue! Not it is the blue of Napoli, not it is the blue of Geneva, and perhaps it is to-day only, but _veramente_ it is blue. It is much curious.