They'll follow their Leader--the sooner the quicker! The Lords they may floor, and the Church may assault, But they've met with their match in the Champions of Malt! All together, brave souls! See, our phalanx on-rolls!!!" And _that_'s how the Topers came down to the Polls! * * * * * MAINTAINING THE UNION.--The _Sheffield Daily Telegraph_, in referring to the success of Mr. G. H. ALLSOPP at Worcester, just prior to that eminent Unionist taking unto himself a wife, suggests that the newly-elected M.P. should follow the precedent set by Mr. GRIFFITH-BOSCAWEN in 1892, and give to each of his bridesmaids a brooch with the amount of his majority engraved upon it. This is all very well in its way. But the total at Tunbridge was 933, while that of Worcester extended to four figures. So to give room for labelling, the brooch should be changed to a bracelet. A man bearing the honoured name of ALLSOPP should be appropriately equal to the XX's. * * * * * A QUESTION TO OUTSIDERS.--"Won't you come round?" was the invitation (as reported in the _Daily Graphic_) given by Sir HENRY IRVING (after his speech on Friday afternoon) to his "friends in front." But it is a question addressed to many outside the theatre and the theatrical profession; to all sorts and conditions of men and women who still regard the stage askance, and who look upon the ultimate fate of theatre-goers and actors as a melancholy certainty. To these persons, whether a minority or a majority,--in either case a "narrow" one,--Sir HENRY'S kindly invitation is publicly addressed, and it is "Won't you come round?" * * * * * [Illustration: A SUNDAY DINNER. _Father of Family_ (_who has accidentally shot the leg of a Fowl under the table_). "MIND T'DOG DOESN'T GET IT!" _Young Hopeful_ (_triumphantly_). "ALL RIGHT, FEYTHER! I'VE GOTTEN ME FOOT ON IT!"] * * * * * ROUNDABOUT READINGS.