Rather hard on politicians this, to bracket their patriotic endeavours with pitch-and-toss and alcoholic indulgence! If politics are like strong drink, nobody at any rate can call them a form of "refreshment"! But defeated candidates will quite agree that the game of "_bleu et jaune_" is a good deal worse than "_rouge et noir_." * * * * * A DAY SHIFT.--From the _North British Daily Mail_ comes news of a daring electoral outrage. The Liberal candidate wanted to address the colliers in one of the Lanarkshire towns; but his meeting was very poorly attended. The cause was that the colliers were all waiting at the bottom of the pit ready to be drawn up, but "it was found necessary to send down an extra quantity of wood at that particular time"; so that the colliers could not get to the surface for an hour, when the political meeting was over! Smart man, the Conservative agent in that division! The pitmen could not be wound up, so the meeting was. It isn't only in Lanark that the Liberal Party wants a lift! * * * * * "LITTERAL" TRUTH.--The effects of the General Election on the Press seem to be most marked in Ireland. An Irish contemporary has the following:-- "IRELAND. THE VICEROYALTY TO BE ABOLILHED.--Colonel SAUNDERSON, addressing the Orangemen of Diamond, near Armagh, said that Lord LALISBURY'S Government would bring in a Bil to obolieh the office of Irish Viceroy." What is really to happen to the Irish Viceroy is rather mysterious. Is he to be "abolilhed," or only "oboliehed"? Perhaps "Lord LALISBURY" will kindly explain. * * * * * DRINKING SCENE OF THE FUTURE. (_In consequence of the Growing Demand for Lighter Liquors._) SCENE--_The interior of a Dining-room. The ladies have just left, and the gentlemen are discussing their beverages._ _Smith._ I say, BROWN, if it is not an impertinent question, where _did_ you get that toast-and-water? _Brown._ I thought you would be deceived! It was a cup, not the pure article! My butler is a first-rate hand at it. I will give you the recipe if you like. _Smith._ Do. It was excellent. What _is_ the secret? _Brown._ Something, I fancy, to do with watercress. _Jones._ I say, BROWN, that was really very nice sherbet. Turkish or Persian? _Brown._ Neither. Came from the Stores. Home-made. _Jones._ Well, it certainly was capital. I could have sworn that it had been manufactured East of the Levant. _Brown._ More likely East of Temple Bar. And now shall we have a whitewash before we join the ladies? _Six Guests._ No, thanks! Really not! _Half-a-dozen more of the Company._ Really not! No, thanks! _Brown._ Nonsense! (_Produces a pint bottle of lemonade._) Nonsense, I repeat! Look here, my boys. (_Locks door._) Not one of you fellows shall leave the room until you have finished _this!_