"'Well, shall I take you to see 'im,' I asks, mild and mealy and timersome-like. Sniffin' orty 'E pops on a topper, and _jumps in my cab_. Then I _druv_ 'im,--no, _not_ to a 'undred and forty In Topsawyer Square, but to Scotland Yard, strite! Then I alters my part, playing up hinjured virtue. '_Now charge me!_' I sez. 'E went squelch like this hegg. 'Look ere, Cabby,' 'e starts, 'I've no wish for to 'urt you----' "Larf? 'Ow the bobbies and me did a chortle to see 'im cave in and squirm round and skedaddle. 'Hi! Stop, Sir!' I shouts. 'For a fourteen-stun lump of fat helderly fuss, you _are_ prompt on the paddle. But--fare, if you please,--from your shop to the Yard! Eighteen-pence, Sir, to _you_, though it _should_ be two shillin'.' That fare knocked 'im silly, at fust. But 'e parted; and I never took a fare's money more willin'." CHOLLOP should go on the boards, so I tell 'im. I've 'eard 'im change patter with regular pros. Hegged on by their lydies to take the shine out of 'im. When they've squared up, 'tis but little _'e_ owes. Ah! the world's tenners are sprinkled unreglar; but talent does not always follow the money, And many a _comique_ at ten quid a week, though much fatter than CHOLLOP, is not arf as funny. * * * * * NOTE FROM THE OPERA.--Dash my LUDWIG, but this artist is mighty good as the _Flying Dutchman_ at Covent Garden. Likewise Madame DUMA, as _Senta_, enthusiastically applauded and showered with bouquets. And that DUDLEY BUCK, too! Delightful name for a lady-killing lover is the Deadly BUCK, who appropriately played the forester _Erik_ in love with _Senta_. Capital performance and first-rate house. Conductor, Mr. FELD. Recognised his style of conducting at once. Merely saw his back, and exclaimed, "That's FELD to the ground!" * * * * * CONCERNING THAT LITTLE PARTY.--A correspondent objects to the suggestion made in these columns last week that Dr. GRACE should give a dance in honour of his recent cheque from the _Daily Telegraph_ without consultation with the representative of domestic Home Rule. "It is possible," writes the scribe, "that were such an appeal made to such an umpire, the verdict might be 'no ball,' and cause some confusion." Were such a thing to happen, the champion cricketer might be "put out"--a contingency so highly improbable, that it does not merit a moment's consideration. * * * * * SHAKSPEARIAN QUOTATION FOR MIDLAND RAILWAY.--"My word, we'll not carry coals!" (_Aside._) But we must, and not on our own terms. (See _Romeo and Juliet_, Act I., Sc. 1) * * * * * Shortly to be published, in illustrated form, by the Punch Press, "_Historic Peeps's Diary_." * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.