Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, November 9th, 1895Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, November 9th, 1895
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
At last KIPPER, in parrying a most venomous onslaught, tripped and
fell backwards, and, ere EGLANTINE or the stagbeetle could come to his
assistance, his foe had pounced upon him. It was a fearful sight as
both struggled on the sward. At last KIPPER'S blade was thrust with
a shout of triumph into the monster's body, and he stood on it as
it fell. But alas! scarcely had he done so, when he himself rolled
lifeless beside the corpse of his enemy. He had forgotten that
hornets, like wasps and writers of reminiscences, can still sting,
when they no longer breathe. EGLANTINE and the stagbeetle vainly
endeavoured to revive the champion, who had won. He was as insensible
to their attentions as is an ironclad ship to the persistence of an
exploded torpedo. The stagbeetle, who was getting rather weary from
want of refreshment, and hated "scenes," proposed that he should go
and fetch assistance while EGLANTINE might watch the body. This she
readily consented to do. Hardly had the beetle droned himself out of
sight when she flung herself upon the remains of the hero and shed
many bitter tears ere she could speak. At last she cried in her
anguish "Oh! my dearest, who was so good to me, come back, come back,
for I love you; yes! I love you dearly."
[Illustration: "He recovered himself and stood once more on guard."]
Scarcely were the words out of her mouth when the little form of
KIPPER disappeared, and there arose in his place not a prince in
velvet doublet and silken hose, but a well favoured man of about
thirty, dressed in a tweed suit, with billycock hat to match.
EGLANTINE, though very much surprised, was not the least bit
frightened, not even when the stranger addressed her. "Sweetest
EGLANTINE," he said, "know that I am not a goblin, but a human being
like yourself. _I was fortunate enough to discover a mine of virgin
gold in Western Australia, and to have the property assigned to me by
the government._ Selfishly I kept the secret to myself, and thereby
incurred the anger of the King of the Gnomes, who, as a punishment
for my sin against the welfare of humanity, caused me to be seized and
transported here by the Underground Antipodes Railway. In this forest
I was to abide in the repulsive form of KIPPER the Goblin, and to make
myself as disagreeable as possible to everybody. I have done so, with
considerable success. Only one chance of release was given to me, and
that was when some pure-hearted maiden should declare her love for me.
My case seemed hopeless; but you, darling, have broken the spell, and
restored me to my real self. My true name is ARCHIBALD JOHNSON. Will
you be Mrs. J.?"
EGLANTINE, having no fixed ideas as to "the proper age of love,"
unhesitatingly answered "Yes."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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