"_Mrs. Malaprop._ No caparisons, Miss, if you please. Caparisons don't become a young woman.--_The Rivals_, Act IV., Sc. 2." "Comparisons are odorous," occurs in _Much Ado about Nothing_, Act III., Sc. 5. Yours, HETTIE SETTERER. P.S. Enclosed advertisement is from the _Willesden Chronicle_:-- Young person, 23, short, dark, strict disciplinarian, wishes to correspond with gentleman between 40 and 50, with view to matrimony. What a "strict disciplinarian" to begin in this way. _And after?_ * * * * * A BACHELOR "BOWL'D."--What with many a "maiden over" and the taking of three hundred wickets in first-class matches, TOM RICHARDSON is _facile princeps_ in the bowling averages of the past cricket season. Now he has "made a match" on the Matrimonial Ground, and among the numerous presents received upon the auspicious occasion that which, perhaps, is of most interest to the "fastest trundler" takes the shape of a magnificent piano, the gift of a "syndicate" of admiring friends. His favourite tune on a winter evening will, of course, be "_Tom Bowling_"; and what more appropriate, after some stirring anecdote relating to the "hat-trick," than a spirited "_Bolero_"? Then, too, music descriptive of a "leg-bye" may surely be found among PAD-EREWSKI'S compositions. By the way, the Christian name of THOMAS, as shared by LOATES, RICHARDSON, and MORRIS, stands high in the annals of contemporary sport. One strides the racing saddle and excels upon the flat, Another proves his power, with the leather, o'er the bat, A third is lion of the links--the Golfer's ecstacy; Thus "TOMMY" trebly triumphs in serene supremacy * * * * * "ATHELSTANE THE UNREADY."--_Note from Dr. Brewer's Reader's Handbook: "'Unready' does not mean 'unprepared,' but 'injudicious.'"_ Almost everybody is angry with him. Bull-baiting is nothing to the new game of Riling RILEY, the injudicious one! So chorus, gentlemen of the School Board, if you please, and take the air from the composer of "_Ballyhooly_,"-- Is that Mr. RILEY? Our ATHELSTAN RILEY? Is that Mr. RILEY who rings the Church bell? It _is_ Mr. RILEY! He does nothing slily, And yet doesn't do it remarkably well. * * * * * COVENT WINTER GARDEN.--Opera Wagnerensia in full bloom. Consule Druriolano, Magistro Lorinerio, Equite. Sir DRURIOLANUS must introduce a dance of Love-lorn Loriners. End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, October 19 1895, by Various