_Mr. Havers._ It's no the _kelt_ that diz it, 'tis jist the way they pit it on. An' MACRAE'll hae his tae faur doon, a guid twa enches too low, it is. _Mr. Parr._ Ye're a' wrang, the kelt is on richt eneugh! _Mr. Havers._ I know fine hoo a kelt should be pit an, though I'm no Hielander mysel', and I'll ask ye, Mess RAWSE, if DOUGAL MACRAE'S kelt isn't too lang; it's jist losin his knees a' thegither, like a lassie he looks in it! [Miss ROSE _declines, with some stiffness, to express an opinion on so delicate a point_. _Mr. Parr._ (_recklessly_). I'll pit a sexpence on MACRAE wi' ye, come noo! _Mr. Havers._ Na, na, pit cawmpetent jedges on to deceede, and they'll be o' my opeenion; but I'll no bait wi' ye. _Mr. Parr._ (_his blood up_). Then I'll hae a sexpence on 't wi _you_, Mester MCKERROW! _Mr. McKerr._ Nay, I'm for MACRAE mysel'.... An' we're baith in the richt o't too, for they've jist gien him the bit red flag--that means he's got firsst prize. _Mr. Parr._ (_to_ Mr. HAVERS, _with reproach_). Man, if ye'd hed the speerit o' your opeenions, I'd ha won sexpence aff ye by noo! _Mr. Havers._ (_obstinately_). I canna thenk but that MACRAE'S kelt was too lang--prize or no prize. I'll be telling him when I see him that he looked like a lassie in it. _Mr. Parr._ (_with concern_). I wouldna jist advise ye to say ony sic a thing to him. These Hielanders are awfu' prood; and he micht tak' it gey ill fro' ye! _Mr. Havers._ I see nae hairrm mysel' in jist tellin' him, in a pleesant, daffin-like way, that he looked like a lassie in his kelt. But there's nae tellin' hoo ye may offend some fowk; an' I'm thenking it's no sae verra prawbable that I'll hae the oaportunity o' saying onything aboot the maitter to him. * * * * * MR. BRIEFLESS IS INTERVIEWED. "A gentleman to see you, Sir," said my admirable and excellent clerk PORTINGTON, a few days since, as I was looking through the circulars that had accumulated on my table in Chambers during the earlier portion of the long vacation. "A client?" I queried. "No, Sir, I think not," was the reply, supplemented with a card placed on my desk. "At least, I do not remember the name in your fee-book." "You do not believe he has called on any errand of an unpleasant character?" "Oh no, Sir!--the rates have been in for a fortnight. If I might hazard a suggestion, I should say he was a literary gentleman."