You fancied each object in town a fresh treat; Had you seen a tramp huddled upon a park seat, You might not have felt so "revived by _that_ whim," And you certainly had not sat down after _him!_ Full many a trait of the times of gross GEORGE Makes humanity shrink, raises Liberty's gorge; But certain things now that to Park and Pall Mall come, In Freedom's name, truly are more free than welcome. In a Park that is spacious, umbrageous, and green, Seats, sprawlers, and speeches, at least, should be _clean_. And oh what avail that 'tis fragrant and floral, If loungers are frowsy and manners immoral? "In London, thank heaven! our peace is secure" You sang; and your London you knew, to be sure. But whether by daylight, or whether by dark, _Our_ peace is by no means secure--in Hyde Park! Ah, MORRIS, we're freer, more human, more kind, Since you found your London so much to your mind. But, though to your days we've no wish to return, In the art of park-keeping we've something to learn. * * * * * THE POET-LAUREATE STAKES (_by "Our Special Commissioner"_).--There is not much to choose between the competitors for the above unimportant fixture. Ever since the publication of the weights _Sir Edwin Arnold_ has held the position of first favourite. He appears to have derived no harm from his recent journey to "India"; indeed, on visiting him at his new quarters in "the Tenth Mews" we found him in the pink of condition. Although _Mr. Austin_ has, owing to a strained cæsura, and consequent restriction to walking exercise, gone back in the betting, he is, nevertheless, looked upon in some quarters as a likely candidate; while _Sir Lewis Morris_ is very much fancied--by himself. A somewhat sensational wager of £3000 to £10 was booked against _Sir Lewis_ and _Mr. Henley_ "coupled." * * * * * CAUTION IN RIGHT DIRECTION.--Dear _Mr. Punch_,--The direction, written by a correspondent, on an envelope I found on returning from a short trip, suggested to me exactly the description of a sly puss (which I am not) of a young lady (which I am) who would be a perfect model of propriety ("that's me") in her own domestic circle, but "Forward if away from home!" There's a nice description! So misleading! I mention this as _something to be avoided_ by any one writing to a nice girl of his, or her, acquaintance, and placing _special posting directions on the envelope_. Yours ever, LALAGE. * * * * * COWARDLY ACTION ON THE PART OF A SOLDIER.--To "strike a tent." * * * * * [Illustration: RESCUE! BLUEBEARD ... TURKEY. FATIMA ... ARMENIA. THE THREE BROTHERS ... ENGLAND, RUSSIA, FRANCE.] * * * * * THE PROBLEM PLAYWRIGHT'S VADE MECUM. _Question._ Has the Problem Play a solution? _Answer._ Certainly; it answers the purposes of the author and the manager.