Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, October 26, 1895 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, October 26, 1895Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, October 26, 1895
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
But KIPPER made no response to these advances. He showed that he meant
to be unsociable, and, little by little, the notabilities and landed
gentry ceased to take any notice of him. Occasionally some of the
sportsmen of The Court, when out hunting the slow-worms and the
bumble-bees, would come across KIPPER, mounted on a huge and vicious
looking stagbeetle, which he managed with considerable address, but he
never deigned to respond to their salutations, but passed on his way
with a malevolent grin. Even the forest pigs and ponies took a dread
of him at last, and would scamper away through the bracken directly
they saw him approach. As to the deer, the pheasants, the rabbits, and
the hares, they would just as soon have faced a poacher. It will be
seen, therefore, that KIPPER was not the sort of person to whom an elf
or a fairy would appeal in case of distress. If he had a heart at all,
it was like that of an artichoke, all choke--and very little arti.
As far as human beings went, KIPPER had a lofty disdain for them and
their ways. He smiled contemptuously when the stagbeetle told him how
the elves had stolen this cottager's milk, or robbed that verderer's
garden of its gooseberries. And his sarcasm was equally pronounced
when he heard how a fairy orchestra had serenaded the parson's
pretty daughter on Midsummer Eve, or that some good-natured fays had
collected the swarming bees of a hard-working farmer, and driven them
home against the wishes of their queen. KIPPER looked upon men, women,
and children as wretched beings, who worried themselves without any
necessity--poor creatures, whose only object in life appeared to be to
endeavour to make one another miserable, and discontented with their
very existence. Therefore he regarded them no more than he would newts
and lizards. Indeed, he often told the stagbeetle that he had far
more respect for a newt, because he could develop an orange waistcoat,
whereas a man could not keep his chest warm without robbing another
animal of its skin or wool. As to the lizards, they only came out when
they could bask in the sun; whereas a man had to pick up and kindle
sticks to keep his ugly body warm, and cook his poisonous food.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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