PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 109. OCTOBER 5, 1895. [Illustration: THE WHEELING PASSION. _Mr. Wheeler._ "I DON'T SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO BUILD A GREAT WHEEL LIKE THAT FOR!" _Mrs. Wheeler._ "NO. WHY COULDN'T THEY HAVE HAD A SAFETY, AND GEARED IT UP TO ANY HEIGHT THEY LIKED?"] * * * * * CRYSTALISED PALACE'D FRUITS. Mr. PUNCH heartily congratulates the Royal Horticultural Society on their grand show of British-grown fruit (none "made in Germany"), and the Crystal Palace Company on the excellent arrangements made for the most advantageous display of these magnificent _fruits defendus_,--for "forbidden fruit" they certainly are, as, much to the disgust, probably, of the apothecaries and family doctors, the visitor may not taste any of the luscious specimens attractively set before him. They are all "_les pommes du voisin_," but though "forbidden" their appearance was anything but "forbidding." It came to an end last Saturday, when it is reported that all the fruits were safely got out of the building except one sleepy pear, whom nothing could arouse. * * * * * THE INGOT AND OUTGOT SILVER CASE.--So far the police are to be congratulated. The detectives have acted with all the readiness and decision of a SHERLOCK HOLMES. Result so far is, that one HENRY BAILEY--name of not particularly happy omen in connection with a certain Old Bailey--is in custody, as also are four bars of silver. BAILEY was taking four bars rest when arrested and removed. * * * * * THE RETREAT OF THE FIFTEEN THOUSAND. (_A British Soldier's View of It._) ["The successful withdrawal, without a shot being fired, of the fifteen thousand men who held the long line from Peshawur to Chitral is a feat not less remarkable in its own way than their victorious advance."--_The Times._] AIR--"_The Burial of Sir John Moore._" NOT a shot was heard, not a stroke we smote, As we trod our home-journey unhurried. The papers about us wrote thundering rot, But Sir ROBERT kept cool and unflurried. We'd had heat to encounter, and frost to fight, Alternately freezing and burning, And now UMRA KHAN and his hordes put to flight; We were quietly homeward returning. Through the Malakand Pass we as conquerors pressed, And had vanquished the foe where we found him. Now, the garrison rescued, the wrong redressed, Low retired, with his thousands around him. Few and short are the words he has said, From palaver no aid did he borrow; But many a face at their hearing flushed red, As will millions of others to-morrow.