Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, September 14th, 1895Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, September 14th, 1895
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
On a bench at the summit of the Torrs sat three Elders. Gray-bearded
and full of confidence in their own wisdom. On another bench facing
them sat a cherry-cheeked maiden of some nineteen summers, evidently
an elder sister in charge of a little brother, with whom in a shy sort
of way, as if old enough to know better, and yet unable to resist the
temptation, she was sharing, with very evident relish, some succulent
toffy recently extracted from one of the many "penny-in-the-slot"
machines, which, as "bits of colour," are such brilliant ornaments to
the Torrs Walks, and such universal favourites with youth of all ages.
The three Elders were discoursing on the mysteries of creation, with
such a "cock-sureness" of tone as seemed to imply that they themselves
had been on some committee of management when the first idea of making
this particular planet, called the world, had occurred to its Creator.
"These rocks," said one grandly, "were in existence long before
the date assigned to the creation." Whereat the toffy-sucking girl
sniggered foolishly as if somehow personally implicated, while the boy
stared, open mouthed, with toffy, yet untasted, in his dexter
hand. "No one," observed the second Elder, blandly, his eyes on the
maiden,--not by any means a SUSANNA but rather a fairly educated
AWDREY,--"no one now accepts the Mosaic account of Creation as given
in Genesis." The boy looked up, inquiringly, at his sister. The girl
giggled bashfully as if, in presence of so much learning and
such reverend seniors, she were suddenly somewhat ashamed of the
home-teaching she had received, and in which her trust had never been
shaken, at least until this minute. The third Elder, his eye too on
the girl and boy,--and perhaps the toffy,--now joined in. "It was
absurd," quoth he, supremely, "to believe that this"--here with a
wave of his hand he took in air, earth, sky, and all points of the
compass--"was made in six days." Then both boy and girl sniggered at
one another. "I suppose they teach you that all this," said the
third Elder, straightly addressing the girl, and again explaining
his allusion to the universe by waving his right hand about in an
all-embracing gesture, "that this was made in six days, eh?" With a
demure and silly giggle the damsel admitted that her education on
the subject had tended in the direction indicated. The three Elders
regarded one another with a sad, despondent air, as though here were
another case of crass ignorance which they had a special mission
to enlighten. "Why," said the second Elder, "the Chinese"--here the
little boy became suddenly interested--"the Chinese possess records
which reach back to a date anterior, by some thousands of years, to
that popularly assigned by Christians to the creation of the world."
The girl opened her eyes, but the boy, having lost his suddenly
awakened interest in the Chinese (probably he had expected some
stories about the war with Japan, or another tale of _Aladdin_), had
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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