AN ASININE PERFORMANCE.--A certain gallant and deservedly popular colonel, whose love of politics is, perhaps, not quite so fervent as his fondness for race-horses and greyhounds, has recently turned his attention to another and comparatively novel form of sport. This takes the shape of an _asinus doctus_--a learned, or accomplished, donkey--"who can be matched at jumping, eating, and drinking, or all three, against any other member of his tribe in the world," and the erudite animal gave, for the colonel's behoof, a private exhibition of his attainments in the grounds attached to an hotel in Norton. First, _Ned_ jumped a 5ft. 6in. bar "without any apparent effort:" then he devoured an ounce of twist tobacco and half-a-pound of bacon with equal ease, but the thirst provoked by the latter comestible had to be assuaged by a quart of champagne which he "put away" with great promptitude and gusto. Refreshed with wine he further proceeded to show a clean pair of heels to a pony in a steeplechase, winning easily--"ears down" in fact. Finally, with a fox-terrier dog as his jockey, he galloped round an orchard. The colonel was much pleased with the entertainment, and well he might be. There is a brilliant career in store for that donkey on the variety stage; or even in Parliament, where he might "command the applause of list'ning senates," while adorning the Hibernian benches as, of course, Member "for Bray." Bedad! here's a leader, ye sons o' Killarney Begorrah! ye'll not find a better I'll lay. Thin hould all yer braggin' and blusterin' blarney, And take a few hints from the Mimber for Bray! * * * * * [Illustration: VIVA ITALIA! BRITANNIA (_to Italia_). "HEARTILY I WISH YOU WELL! BE 'LESS VISIONARY,' AND 'MORE PRACTICAL'!" ["The financial condition of Italy in the last degree unsatisfactory and unsound, the Roman question ever looming in the horizon, and the certainty of internal dissension continuing to develop, must necessarily blast all fair prospects for peace and prosperity in the young nation, towards which England has been inclined to look with sympathetic regard and almost maternal anxiety."--_Vide Daily Telegraph, Sept. 16, "The Ransom of Rome."_ "An enormous debt has been run up, and the financial position of Italy has been damaged by the magnificent aims of her rulers."--_Times, Sept. 21._] * * * * * L'ILE DE WIGHT. _À Monsieur Punch._