Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, September 7, 1895 — John Shaqi
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, September 7, 1895Various
General
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, September 7, 1895
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Tuesday._--Scotch votes on; the WEIRISOME WEIR stands where he did, at
corner seat of front bench below Gangway. This convenient situation for
fixing Corporal HANBURY with gleaming eye. Also the metal grating which
serves as flooring of House is useful as adding reverberating sound
to WEIRISOME'S voice when occasion makes it desirable it should issue
from his boots. If it were not for the matting laid over the grating,
effect would be much more tremendous. WEIRISOME makes the best of it.
Blood curdling to hear him just now denouncing some Procurator Fiscal
whose office is in Edinburgh, and his house in Ross-shire. Or is it the
other way about? The worst of WEIRISOME making our flesh creep by his
ventriloquial talents is, that we get a little mixed about his points.
However it was, the Procurator Fiscal had committed a heinous crime.
Only by exercise of supernatural forbearance that WEIRISOME refrained
from moving to reduce salary of Secretary for Scotland by £2000.
Effect of supernatural rumblings of his voice increased by ghastly
pauses in flow of conversation. HANBURY, as yet new to post of
Financial Secretary, will by-and-by get accustomed to its trials.
Meanwhile it is painful for Cap'en TOMMY BOWLES, moored immediately
behind his old colleague, to observe his hair gradually standing up
whilst House is hushed in awesome silence what time WEIRISOME is
solemnly reaffixing his _pince-nez_ with intent to continue his remarks.
Chairman more than once attempted to fill up pauses by reminding
WEIRISOME what was the precise bearing of vote before Committee. Once
sternly threatened to inforce rule which permits Chairman to order a
rambling speaker to shut up, and sit down. WEIRISOME apparently paid
no attention. A few minutes later, fancying he saw sign of movement in
the Chair, he stopped; with wide sweep of arm put on his _pince-nez_;
held manuscript up with apparent intention of consulting it; covertly
regarded JAMES W. over the top. Concluding he meant business,
WEIRISOME, without another word, solemnly, slowly--to the agonised
looker on the process seemed to occupy sixty seconds--dropped into his
seat.
_Business done._--A good deal in Committee of Supply.
_Friday, 2 A.M._--It is the unexpected that ever happens in House of
Commons. Wednesday is ordinarily humdrum day; SPEAKER takes Chair
at noon; all over before six. Accordingly, having met at noon on
Wednesday, House sat till two o'clock next morning, proceedings
culminating with scene in which DICK WEBSTER, of all men, was convicted
of disorderly conduct.
"Really," said J. G. TALBOT, nervously rubbing his hands, "I don't know
what we shall see next. Probably the Chaplain, in full canonicals,
conducted to Clock Tower by Serjeant-at-Arms for having spoken
disrespectfully of the Archbishop of CANTERBURY. The sooner this
Session is over, the better it will be for Church and State."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account