I hear the lark's ecstatic gush From his clear ambush in the sky; A blackbird (if it's not a thrush) Sings from a wood hard by. I climb towards an open lea Whereon the goodly cattle browse, And oh, it does me good to see Such oxen and such cows. And here and there an early calf Staggers about with weakling frame; It is a sight that makes me laugh; I feel so glad I came. The orchard with its early pink (Cherry, I'm told) adorns the scene; While the horse-chestnut (as I think) Is well-nigh turning green. So through the day I roam apart, And bless the happy dawn of Spring, Which thrills a butcher's homely heart With such sweet visiting. But soon the light begins to fade, And I must quit these rural joys To labour at my daily trade Mid London's dust and noise. Back to the buses and the trams, To think on Spring's recurring boon, Especially the calves and lambs: They will be ready soon. DUM-DUM. * * * * * "Carpentier was getting to be a sorry sight at the finish. There was hardly anything to indicate that Jeannette had been in a 15-round glove-fight."--_Times._ "All this Carpentier stood well, and quick as lightning at long range cut the mulatto's face to bits."--_Morning Post._ We think our contemporaries are carrying their rivalry with each other too far. * * * * * [Illustration: THE CRAZE FOR SALARIED OFFICIALS-SOME SUGGESTIONS. 1 WHY NOT HAVE _CONTROLLERS OF CONVIVIALITY_ TO CHECK OVER-INDULGENCE IN EATING. 2 AND DRINKING? 3 OR _WARDENS OF REPUTATIONS_ TO SUPPRESS SCANDAL 4 AND TITTLE-TATTLE? 5 OR _CENSORS OF PHRASEOLOGY_ TO RESTRAIN BAD LANGUAGE? 6 BUT BEST OF ALL, MAKE _EVERYBODY_ AN _INSPECTOR OF OFFICIALS_, SO THAT THE GREAT BRITISH PUBLIC CAN GET A LITTLE OF ITS OWN BACK.] * * * * * COUNTRY LIFE EXHIBITION. INTERESTING PROGRAMME. Arrangements have now been completed for holding at the Piscicultural Hall, Kensington, an exhibition, the aim of which is to impart instruction in the art of living in the country. Such assistance is of the highest value, since many persons otherwise capable enough are unable to manage rural ways at once or deal with even such ordinary difficulties as neighbours' visits, invitations to garden parties, dinners, &c., political confessions, the retention of servants, the lighting system, the Vicar's calls, and so forth. HOW TO KEEP SERVANTS.