Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, April 29, 1914Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, April 29, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Here," he says, "is Ulster, for two years arming with avowed intention of
forcibly resisting the law of the land. The Constitutional Party in this
country, bulwark of Law and Order, who, when the Southern Counties of
Ireland were in revolt, applauded PRINCE ARTHUR'S Cromwellian command,
'Don't hesitate to shoot,' backs them up, in my opinion very properly.
CARSON has developed Napoleonic genius in reviewing troops on parade. F. E.
SMITH has, with startling effect, 'galloped' along their massed ranks.
LONDONDERRY has pledged his knightly word to be in the firing line when the
trumpet sounds. All the while, to the bewilderment of onlookers from the
Continent, who confess they are further off than ever from understanding
John Bull, to the creation of ominous restlessness among their own
supporters, the Ministry, Brer Rabbit of established Governments, have
'lain low and said nuffin',' much less have they done anything. Suddenly,
without word of warning, they take steps for the protection of military
stores in Armagh, Omagh, and Carrickfergus.
"That's their account of the transaction. We know better. It was a
carefully devised Plot to take CARSON'S hundred thousand armed and drilled
men at their word and compel them to fight. Not since war began has there
been such unjustifiable--don't wish to use strong language, but must
say--such really rude procedure on part of a so-called civilised
Government."
_Business done._--MCKENNA moves Second Heading of Welsh Church
Disestablishment Bill.
_Tuesday._--Wholesome spirit of enquiry animates House just now. BONNER LAW
leads off with demand for judicial inquiry into "the Plot." Fact that its
appointment would establish novel precedent in constitutional procedure
adds interest to situation. PREMIER, with emphatic thump of the table that
reminds it of GLADSTONE in his prime, stands by constitutional practice.
"If," he said, "the right hon. gentleman is prepared to make and sustain
his allegation of dishonourable conduct on part of the Ministers, I will
give him the earliest possible day to bring it forward. But," and here came
the thump on the long-suffering table, "he must make it in this House."
Inspired by this high principle of getting at bottom of shady things,
RICHARDSON has CHIEF WHIP up and sternly questions him about appointment of
certain public auditors under Industrial and Provident Acts.
Position of CHIEF WHIP, though dignified and important, has inevitable
result of withdrawing him from participation in debate. ILLINGWORTH now has
his chance. Made the most of it. Head paper of prodigious length containing
memoirs of the two gentlemen concerned, together with succinct history of
the birth and progress of the Hetton Downs Co-operative Society, county
Durham, of which one of them had been secretary.
House entranced. Rounds of cheering marked progress of narrative,
concluding passages inconveniently rendered inaudible by tumultuous
applause.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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