Produced by Malcolm Farmer, Janet Blenkinship and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOL. 146 APRIL 8, 1914. CHARIVARIA. "MR. ASQUITH CLEANS THE SLATE." _Daily Chronicle._ The pity is that so many of his followers seem to prefer to slate the clean. * * * Even _The Nation_ is not quite satisfied with the Government, and has been alluding to "the extreme slackness of Cabinet methods," and complains that "situations are not thought out beforehand." The Government, apparently, is now taking the lesson to heart, for _H.M.S. Foresight_, we read, has now replaced _H.M.S. Pathfinder in_ Belfast Lough. * * * What the newspapers describe as "An unknown Botticelli" has just been sold by a celebrated firm of art dealers to an American gentleman, and it only remains to hope that the painting was not unknown to BOTTICELLI. * * * "A telegram from Toledo," says a contemporary, "reports the theft of three valuable pictures by the celebrated artist, El Greco." There must be some mistake here. Anyhow, at the time of his death, a good many years ago, this gentleman was not under suspicion. * * * The Christian Endeavour Union of Washington, alarmed at the spread of luxury, has launched a society whose members pledge themselves to wear no finery during Easter. Those members who hide baldness by means of elaborate coiffures might carry the idea further by appearing, for one week only, with heads like Easter eggs. * * * Whether it is due to the Suffrage movement or not it is difficult to say, but women are undoubtedly coming into their rights by degrees. By the provisions of the new Bankruptcy Act it is now possible for any married woman, whether trading apart from her husband or not, to be made a bankrupt. * * * In connection with the "Kensington Camp Week," when an effort is to be made to raise sufficient funds to establish and equip headquarters for the Kensington Reservists, a full-sized elephant has been chartered to ramble about the principal thoroughfares and collect money for the cause. To ensure success the sagacious quadruped is to be trained to step accidentally on the toes of those persons who ignore its appeal. * * * A correspondent writes to _The Observer_ complaining bitterly of the state of the morass leading to the Aerodrome at Hendon. This gentleman does not realise that there is a didactic purpose in the cause of his annoyance. Learn to fly and you will keep your boots clean. * * * [Illustration: _Nut (in car)._ "WHAT'S THAT, KID? 'WHY DON'T I KEEP ON THE ROAD?' WELL, THE SWEEP MUST BE DEAF--THE BALLY HOOTAH DON'T SHIFT HIM, AND--WELL, MY DEAR GIRL, THE CAR WAS CLEANED THIS MORNING!"] * * *