There must be many, among the uninstructed classes, who have no idea what a dividend warrant may be, but few would, I think, at once take the dismal view of the thing that Roberts took. By return of post the Secretary of the Income Producer Company, Limited, received an envelope addressed in a shaky hand and enclosing a postal order for a pound, together with a letter from Roberts, in which he prayed for a few days of grace, in which a poor but honest old man might raise the further 8s. 3d. thus demanded of him by legal process. * * * * * "The bride will be supported by five piers." _Evening Standard._ Read this aloud to your wife and see if she isn't jealous. And then try her with this from _The Greater Britain Messenger_:-- "Big Dams and what they mean to the Church." She ought to be shocked. * * * * * [Illustration: _McTavish._ "Noo, ma frien', see me sendin' the wee ba' scootin' ower the bonny bur-r-r-n!"] [Illustration: _McTavish._ (_to caddie_). "Awa', ye great sumph, an' tak' it oot o' yon dur-r-r-ty ditch!"] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. (_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._) MR. CHARLES INGE has brought to the shaping of _Square Pegs_ (METHUEN) some good and healthy thoughts about life and love and the waste of both, so that you get a wholesome impression of soundness and sincerity. And there's a dedication which makes one think the author is writing of realities which have been seen at close quarters. _Bernard Farquharson_, the big-hearted colonial, returning to England and seeing the waste of potentially good men in preposterous casual jobs which cannot lead anywhere, longs to give them the chances of the big spaces in South Africa (where, of course, there are no Labour troubles and a man's a man for a' that!). He ventures his capital in _The Dictator_, a Fleet Street derelict, in order to promote his emigration scheme, and his capital departs before either his public or the big-wigs are convinced. I can't think that _Bernard_ had really thought out his scheme. And I wonder what he would have done if the little band of square pegs he got together in desperation hadn't had the sense to refuse his offer to ship them over to South Africa with his few remaining sovereigns. They would certainly have been in a fine round hole at the other side. But _Bernard_ did a better thing. The only emigrant in his party was _Leonora_, and I like to think they lived happily ever after on his little orange-farm. I can only hope that his rival, _Pike-Sarpe_, a horrible little unctuous cad of a solicitor, will shortly do something to attract the official attention of the Law Society. * * * * *