Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, February 18, 1914 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, February 18, 1914Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, February 18, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
A was in receipt of six bisques. I holed out the first in five. A, who
was in well-deserved trouble all the way, holed out in ten. I remarked,
"One up!" to which A made no response. As we moved off to the second tee
there was a loud clap of thunder and the heavens burst over our heads. A
at once shouted above the tumult, "I take my six bisques and claim the
hole and the match." He then headed swiftly for the pavilion.
I cannot believe that he was justified in his claim. What do _you_
think?
Yours faithfully, FAIR PLAY.
_Editor's Decision._--The original arrangement was bad in Golf Law. The
match is therefore off, and each party must pay his own costs.
* * * * *
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
"Do you believe in magic?" Jack asked.
I hedged.
"Well, whether you do or not," he said, "I've got a rather rum story for
you."
"Go ahead," I replied.
"Very well," he said. "It was on last Tuesday morning that I looked in
at the watchmaker's to see if my watch was mended yet.
"It was hanging up in the glass case above the bench where he worked,
with my name on a little tab attached to the ring.
"'No,' the man said, 'it's not done--in fact, I'm still observing it.'
"'But it seems to be recording the time all right,' I said.
"'Yes,' he replied--'seems, but it isn't. That's mere chance. Do you
know, it's so fast that it's gained exactly twenty-four hours since you
brought it in. That's not to-day's time it's registering, but
to-morrow's. Leave it here another week, and I'll have got to the bottom
of the mystery.'
"At first I was disposed to do so; and then I had an idea.
"'No,' I said, 'I'll take it.'
"'But it's useless to you,' he replied.
"'I'll take it," I said. 'Just for fun.'
"He gave it me reluctantly and returned to his labours.
"I walked away from the shop very thoughtfully. Here was a curious state
of things. I and the rest of the world were living on Monday, February
9th, while my watch was busily recording, a little too hurriedly, the
progress of time on Tuesday, February 10th. To see into the future has
ever been man's dearest wish, and here was I in possession of a little
piece of machinery which actually was of the future and yet could tell
none of its secrets.
"But couldn't it? Couldn't I wrest one at least from it?--that was what
worried me.
"As I pondered, a newspaper boy passed me bearing the placard
'Selections for Lingfield,' and in a flash I bought one. My watch knew
who had won! How could I extract that information from it?"
Jack paused.
"Good heavens," I interpolated, "what an extraordinary situation!"
"You may well say so," he said. "You see, if only I could share its
knowledge, I should be rich for life; for it was now only a quarter to
eleven, and the first race was not till one-fifty, and there was plenty
of time to bet.
"But----
"I continued on my way deep in thought," Jack went on, "when whom should
I meet but Lisburne? Lisburne is the most ingenious man I know.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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