* * * * * TO MINKI-POO (SHUTTING ONE EYE). I watch you, while the firelight glare Strews flick'ring fancies round the hall, Replete, with what exotic fare No watcher by The Wall Had ever thought to line himself withal. And, as I mark the locks that weave A curtain for your eyes of flame, I sometimes think if you'd a sleeve To help you in the game, You'd find a laugh or two to fill the same. For She in whose grey eyes there springs Ruth for the lowliest and the least Proclaims you heir of countless kings, An emblem from the East Of inward beauty in the outward beast. She says you miss the sidewise roll Of palanquins in Something-Chang, Or sigh for little bells that toll Beside the Si-kiang, And dream-dogs of your old Celestial gang. For me, I think that tiny heart Bears no such Oriental load; Your dreams concern no Pekoe mart Nor mandarin's abode, But some dim purlieu of the Edgware Road. Well, young pretender, have your fling! Though Fate forbade you to adorn The pompous pedigree of Ming, No particle of scorn Shall ever fall upon the Briton born! * * * * * "It was contended that the captain had been placed in circumstances of exceptional difficulty. The solicitor for the Board of Trade said that between six and seven hundred pilgrims from Mecca swarmed on to the ship at Beyrouth to return to Morocco." _Westminster Gazette._ Another result of the expiry of the WAGNER copyrights? * * * * * "She went out rather quickly by the door, but none of them laughed."--_From "The Cheerful Christian," by DAVID LYALL, in "The British Weekly."_ She must try the window next time, and then, if they still won't laugh, the chimney. * * * * * [Illustration: _First Irate Gentleman._ "WHEN I 'ITS A MAN, 'E REMEMBERS IT." _Second Irate Gentleman._ "WELL, WHEN I 'ITS ONE, 'E DON'T."] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. (_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)