"By all means," I said. "It gives dignity and an enhanced value to a vulgar agricultural utensil. And the Society can be called 'The Royalists' for short. Its single rule is to be this, that any member speaking of any politician of the opposite Party except in terms of eulogy shall be fined ten shillings and sixpence. The fines to be divided equally between the Tariff Reform League and the Free Trade Union." For a moment there was hesitation. Then the Opposition rejoiced at the idea of hearing the Radicals praise LAW and LONG, and the Radicals thought it would be ecstasy to hear panegyrics of LLOYD GEORGE and MASTERMAN from the Unionists. The Society was formed at once and has proved an enormous success. Peace and goodwill reign amongst us. It is a perpetual delight to see Filmer put down his _Daily Express_ and with the veins bulging out from his forehead say, "That accurate and careful financier who has so immeasurably raised the status of the Chancellorship of the Exchequer"; or to hear Chalmers remark, "Sad would it be if that most honey-tongued and softhearted of politicians, dear F. E. SMITH, should have his life ended by a British bayonet." One or two prepare their delicate eulogies beforehand and refer to notes; but this is thought unfair. The compartment, as a whole, prefers the impromptu praise that has the air of coming from the heart. I am thinking of offering to the House of Commons and the House of Lords free membership in The Royalists. Perhaps Messrs. LLOYD GEORGE and LEO MAXSE would consent to act as perpetual Joint Presidents, with Lord HUGH CECIL and the Rev. Dr. CLIFFORD as Chaplains. * * * * * [Illustration: _MacBull._ "I SHALL BE A GAY GRASS WIDOWER FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS--WIFE'S GONE FOR A HOLIDAY TO THE WEST INDIES." _O'Bear._ "JAMAICA?" _MacBull._ "NO, IT WAS HER OWN IDEA."] * * * * * "He is only a tame duck who with sheepish timidity attempts to controvert the determination of a body of frontiersmen from their purpose by firing at them with a water squirt." _Bulawayo Chronicle._ It sounds more like a wild duck. * * * * * From Publishers' Announcements:-- "'BORROWED THOUGHTS.' (A Handbook for Lent, with an Introduction by a popular Bishop.) Limp, 9d." * * * * * "Lot 3. Extra Dry, Cuvee Beservee, 60/-. A really excellent pure Wine, which we bought lying abroad." We trust they won't sell it lying at home. * * * * * "Generally crime is normal and no increase in mortality is reported. Little wandering, emigration, or emaciation is noticed. Cattle are being sold in large numbers in Hamirpur. Blankets are being distributed to the poor. (_For other Sporting News see page 8_)." _Advocate of India._