_Saturday._--Still a little anxious about the I.B., but a great victory over the CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER at golf in the afternoon has restored my spirits somewhat. We were square going to the eighteenth, and when I got into a nasty place in the bunker guarding the green it seemed all over; but with a sudden inspiration I proclaimed martial law (which, as Anthony says, supersedes the ordinary laws) and teed my ball up. Thence easily to the green and down in ten, DAVID arriving in his usual mechanical eleven. He was a little silent at tea, I thought. _Wednesday._--Excellent. This martial law is a wonderful thing. On Monday I had the whole of the Opposition kidnapped and sent down by one of the special Saturday trains, well guarded and labelled "Football Party," to Twickenham. The train was guaranteed to stop for some hours at every station on the way, and is not due at Twickenham till to-morrow morning. Meanwhile my Indemnity Bill went triumphantly through the House this evening, and now all is well. _Thursday._--End of martial law. Rather a dull day on the whole. A.A.M. * * * * * Answer to a Clergyman. No, dear Sir, your high calling does not excuse you from observing the rules of civility common amongst laymen when writing to the Editor of a paper which has expressed views that do not happen to accord with your own. * * * * * "Dancing was engaged in around the bonfire to the skirl of the philabeg."--_Glasgow Herald._ On reading this we immediately went round to our tailor and ordered a new pair of bagpipes. * * * * * "A change has come over the domestic habits of the French middle class. This means that the money that would have been accumulated for the girl's diary is now in some cases diverted into other channels."--_T. P's Weekly._ Probably squandered on a packet of those useless New Year's cards. * * * * * [Illustration: _Bosun_ (_to new deck hand who has trodden on his toes while hauling on a rope_). "'BEG YOUR PARDON,' INDEED! THAT'S BLOOMIN' FINE LANGUAGE TO USE TO A SHIPS BOSUN."] * * * * * LOCAL COLOUR. I. _From the Editor of "The Globe Fiction Magazine" to Aubrey Aston, Esq._ _May 5th._