The swing of the pendulum is going to make the coming season a _stately_ one. It will be correct to be haughty and dignified. _Features_ will be _de rigueur_, and aquiline noses will be very much worn. Dancing is to be deliberate and majestic, and partners will not touch each other; as Teddy Foljambe put it, "Soccer dancing will be in and Rugby dancing out." As far as one can see at present, the most popular dance at parties will be the war-dance of the Umgaroos, a tribe who live on the banks of some river at the back of beyond. I can't tell you anything about them except that they were found near this river doing this dance, and someone's brought it to Europe. It's very slow and impressive, and a native weapon, like a big egg-boiler with a long handle, is carried. The dance grows faster towards the end and the native weapon is twirled. In a crowded room there'd be a little danger here, and one would have to practise carefully beforehand. Already Popsy Lady Ramsgate's maid, has brought an action against her for "grievous bodily harm." In practising the war-dance of the Umgaroos, Popsy twirled her weapon too wide and struck the girl on the head. What do you think of the New Music, my child? No answer is expected. It's a question few people _dare_ to answer. Norty's definition of the New Humour--"the old Humour without the Humour"--won't do for the New Music. It's quite out by itself. But on the whole it's darling music, full of new paths to somewhere or other, and ideas and impressions of one doesn't know what, and sprinkled all over with delicious accidentals that seem to have been shaken out of a pepper-pot. I've just got some piano studies of Schoenvinsky's, to be played with the eyes shut and gloves on, and they're too wonderful for words! Ever thine, BLANCHE. * * * * * [Illustration: BACK FROM SWITZERLAND. (1) SNAPSHOT, ILLUSTRATING THE COOLNESS DISPLAYED BY THE INTREPID MOUNTAIN-CLIMBER, AS SENT TO FRIENDS. (2) A FULL-SIZED UNEXPURGATED EDITION OF THE SAME.] * * * * * THE LEGEND OF EVERYMATRON. (Showing one of the reasons why the Tango is already _demode_.) (_With apologies to Mr. KIPLING._) This is the sorrowful story told at the Tango Teas Of the old folks dancing together, frivolous as you please:-- "Our mothers, came to the dances; dignified matrons, they, They smilingly sat and watched us after we waltzed away. "Our mothers looked on at the dancing--that was their business then; Frowned on the detrimentals, smiled on the right young men. "Then came this Tangomania, and when the fad was new Badly it shocked the old folks--now they are doing it too! "Now we may watch our mothers, smiling and flushed and gay, Doing it, doing it, doing it, tangoing night and day, "Stamping a Texas Tommy, wreathing a Grapevine Swirl, Gleefully Gaby Gliding, young as the youngest girl.