And so, since I've many a friend on the spot, I've quitted the comforts of town In order to keep open house for the lot In a chamber provided by Brown. They shall come to my bedroom; I'll give them good cheer; I'll ring for a handmaid and tell her To serve us at once with a dinner up here, Including the pick of the cellar. And then in due course round the gas glowing red Brown's choicest cigars shall be lit, And, if we like resting our feet on the bed, We may--it won't matter a bit. Our talk of old times shall be joyous and bright, Undisturbed we will gossip like billy-o, And I shan't break away to bid Brown a good night; 'Twould savour of needless punctilio. Dear Tom, since I love you the best of them all, Call round here whenever you care, And, if you should run against Brown in the hall, Just give him an insolent stare. And when, from rusticity taking a rest, You come up to London and meet me, Remember the evenings when you were my guest, And take me out, Thomas, and treat me. * * * * * [Illustration: _Zealous Boy Scout._ "YOU CAN CROSS BY THIS BRIDGE, SIR. IT WILL SAVE YOU A LONG WALK ROUND." _Cautious Stout Party._ "THANK YOU, MY BOY, BUT I'M AFRAID IT WOULD HARDLY BEAR ME." _Zealous Boy Scout._ "OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, SIR. WE HAVE FIRST AID AND AMBULANCE ON THE OTHER SIDE!"] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. (_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)