O, chiefly procured by a fate that is harshish From ponderous pachyderms' innocent shapes! O, shipped of old time by the navies of Tarshish For SOLOMON'S court and the wondering gapes Of Jerusalem's Great Age, The invoice for freightage Including some items of peacocks and parcels of apes! O exquisite surface of Orient idols! O, hewn by the workmen of cunning Cathay For the sword-hilts of kings and their saddles and bridles! O, carved for Athene! O, chosen to-day For the match now proceeding Betwixt those two leading And infantile billiard antagonists, NEWMAN and GRAY! O, how shall I sing of thee, loved of immortals? Remember what breaks of thy boon have been born? Or describe how the dreams that go out at thy portals Are true by the test of the amethyst morn, Whilst the hopes that encumber Our profitless slumber Fare forth through the bonzoline exit--I should say the horn? Shall I ask why it is that the sagest of mammals Is toothed with such splendour, for woo or for weal, As compared with giraffes or hyenas or camels Or wombats? Why man, when he falls to a meal, Can suffer no tusk-ache From marmalade _plus_ cake To rival the infinite sorrows that Hathis may feel? These things I might prate of and should do with pleasure Except that they're far from the point of my song, Which is aimed at a dental adornment, a treasure Unheard of as yet by the ignorant throng, But an ivory fairer, More fleckless and rarer, Than ever was looted by trader from elephant's prong. For I care not for elephants, no, not a particle; Sorrows they have, but they cause me no ruth; And a fig for their tushes! I mentioned the article Merely to lead you along to the truth, To the fact of all wonder, Our baby (no blunder-- You can not only feel, you can see it) has cut his first tooth. EVOE. * * * * * Box and Cox. "The doctors have stopped issuing bulletins regarding Sir Lionel Phillips whose condition continues to give satisfaction. He is able to lease his bed for a short time daily."--_Natal Mercury._ * * * * * "When Lord Kitchener arrived in Cairo very few people were aware that, travelling on the same train as his lordship, were a crocodile, two hyenas and two civet cats. These animals had been presented to Lord Kitchener when he was at Kosti."--_Egyptian Gazette._ We wish we had had the luck to attend this levee. * * * * * THE STRONG MAN. [_A fragment of a diary, signed H.H.A., which may be picked up in Bouverie Street some day._]