A lady in the front of the first circle at Drury Lane, _The Express_ tells us, laughed so heartily the other day in the paper-hanging scene that her artificial teeth fell out and dropped into the stalls. This accentuates the importance of having one's teeth plainly marked with one's name and address. *** Mr. Fred Burlingham, who recently descended into the heart of Vesuvius, has written a book entitled "How to become an Alpinist." The idea is good. One likes to learn how to cool oneself after a visit to a crater. *** A little girl of our acquaintance has given the most vivid description of a cold that we have yet heard. "Well, Phyllis," we said, "how goes it to-day?" "Horrid," came the answer. "Have to make myself breathe." *** "For the first time for forty years," _The Daily Mail_ tells _us_, "a wild swan, supposed to have flown across the North Sea, has been shot in the marshes of the Isle of Sheppey." It does not say much for the marksmanship of the local sportsmen that this poor creature should have been shot at all those years without being hit. *** We learn from _The Tailor and Cutter_ that a garment of double fabric, with india-rubber balls inside to absorb the shock, has been designed for motorists by a Budapest tailor. But surely it is rather the pedestrian who needs this armour? *** Mr. W. MCDOUGALL declared in a lecture at the Royal Institution last week that the cranial capacity of the savage was equal to that of the average Oxford undergraduate. Cambridge has suspected this for years. *** [Illustration: _First Urchin_. "See, 'err, a Aireoplane!" _Second Urchin_. "Where?" _First Urchin_. "See, There--that Loose Bit."] *** "A Wet Sheet and a Flowing Sea." "Hitherto more or less content with a wet sea and a flowing sail...." _"Times" Literary Supplement._ It would be terrible if _The Times_ disapproved of the sea being wet. *** "Multiply Your Income by 3. L152 x 3 = L375 Think what you could do if you had three times the income you have now." _Advt. in "Church Times."_ Sums perhaps. *** "Mr. R. G. Knowles, the famous comedian, is now out of danger, and, acting on his doctor's orders, will start on Thursday for a trip to the Argentine, He will be back in London before the end of Barch." _Liverpool Daily Post_. Without that biserable cold, we hope. *** Our Picturesque Language. Extract from Japanese letter:-- "Our markets do not improve yet but as I working hard as twice than last year our business do not much decay than other person, which I am glad." We share this gentleman's joy. * * * * * A COCKAIGNE OF DREAMS. (Based on Sir ASTON WEBB's recent vision of what London might be like in a hundred years' time_.)