"Noa--unless of course yer mean Naughton _Parish_ 'All," he added after deep consideration. "Has anybody ever been known to give a dance there?" "Ay, I dare say." With grim determination I clutched my bag and trudged on. It was late when I crawled up the steps of Naughton Parish Hall. I threw my things in a corner, scraped some of the mud off my trousers, removed my bow from the back of my neck, and staggered in the direction of the music. A one-step was just over, and the dancers were crowding the foyer. Dorice appeared with her partner. I went and stood before her. "Dorice," I stammered brokenly, "I--I've come." Dorice excused herself from her partner and took me into a corner. "Hear me first," I pleaded, utterly crushed. "Hear me first, Dorice. I've done my best. I went to the wrong place. You rang off without giving me the proper address. A blundering villain of a cabman took me to--Naughton Hall. They made me dance with somebody named Giggleswick. I escaped as soon as I could and came here. I ran a lot of the way." I looked up at her beseechingly. Then I discovered that my life was not blighted for ever. Dorice was smiling upon me--yes, smiling! She leant forward eagerly and touched my hand. "_You've been to Naughton Hall!_" she whispered delightedly; "but, my dear old boy, it's simply _the_ dance of the season round here! All these people would do anything to get invited. The Perrys only gave this dance so that they could use it as a sort of excuse for not being seen at the Naughton Hall one!" "Anybody could have gone in my place," I murmured; "I didn't enjoy it at all." Dorice got up and took hold of my arm. "Come on," she said with suppressed excitement, "this is splendid!" She took me through a crowd of people and introduced me to Mr. and Mrs. Perry. Then she raised her voice. "He's sorry to be so late," she apologised as loudly as possible, "but you see he was forced to look in at the Naughton Hall ball. However, he got away as soon as he could and came on to us." Mrs. Perry received me almost with open arms. "We must try and find you some really good partners," she announced enthusiastically. "_Rather!_" echoed Mr. Perry. It was then close upon midnight. For the two hours of the dance that remained I was the man of the evening. * * * * * [Illustration: WHAT LANCASHIRE THINKS. _Old Lancashire Lady_ (_to young lady friend who has expressed her intention of going by an excursion to the Metropolis_). "DOAN'T THEE GOA TO LONDON; THEE STOP IN OWD ENGLAND."] * * * * * Rumoured Mutiny in the Navy. "The destroyers patrolling the Irish coast are being boarded and searched for rifles by order of the Admiralty."--_Daily Express._ * * * * *