_Barbara._ Two years! John, I'm not quite clear whether I'm _your_ relation or Diana's, or, in fact, what I'm doing in the house at all, but as an old friend of _somebody's_ may I give you a word of advice? _Staffurth._ (_looking at his watch_). Certainly, but you must be quick. I have to be back at the House in five seconds. _Barbara._ Then, John, give Diana a good time for those two years. Ask her to recite sometimes, tell her about Welsh Disestablishment, at all costs keep her amused. _Staffurth._ (_amazed_). My dear girl, do you realise I'm an Opposition Member? The Government may spring a snap division on us at any moment. (_Taking out his engagement book._) Still, let me see what I can do. On July 15th, 1916---- Oh no, that will be too late. November 25th, 1915--how's that? We might have an afternoon at Kew then if the Whips don't want me. (_Looking at his watch._) Well, I must be off. Don't let Diana know she's ill. [_Exit hastily._ _Enter_ Diana Staffurth. _Diana._ I listened outside the door! Two years, and he won't even ask me to recite to him! He doesn't love me. _Barbara._ He does, he does! But he's one of those men who never show it till the Last Act. _Diana._ Well, I know somebody who doesn't mind showing it in the First Act. (_Goes to telephone._) Is that you, Captain Furness? I've just learnt a new little piece.... Yes, don't be long. [_She sits down to play the piano till he comes._ CURTAIN. II. _Six months later._ Captain Furness's _rooms, 11.30 p.m._ _Enter_ Furness _and_ Diana. _Furness._ There, dear, now we can have a nice little supper together. You do love me, don't you? _Diana._ I suppose so. I love talking to you on the telephone, anyway. I can't think what we should have done in this play without the telephone. _Furness._ And you will come away with me to-morrow? _Diana._ Yes. (_To the audience_) Oh, I've only got eighteen months---- (_To_ Furness) Excuse me, Philip, this is a soliloquy; would you mind not listening for a moment? (_He turns away and prepares the supper._) Oh, I've only got eighteen months more, and I want to _live_! I want to talk on the telephone to people, and keep on changing my clothes, and recite--and--and--_Philip_! You _don't_ mean to say those are _marrons glaces_ you've got there? _Furness._ Rather. Don't you like 'em? _Diana._ How dare you? You _know_ the doctors won't let me touch them. _Furness._ My dear, you never told me what the doctors said to you. What did they say? _Diana._ Well, anyhow, they said, "No more _marrons glaces_." _Furness._ Really, Diana, how could I know? _Diana._ You ought to have guessed. You've insulted me and I'm going home. And I shan't run away with you now. (_Picks up her cloak and goes to the door._) Er--if I _should_ change my mind in the morning I'll--er--telephone. _Next morning._