Awhile they tore, then stayed. And helpless there Betwixt the silvery moonlight and the ground He hung convulsive, grasping at the air, For two full hours it may be, whilst a hound Of the Great Danish breed, that made no sound Save a deep snarl, below him watching stood (This portion of my dream was very good). And much he vowed because of his great pain That he was the most dashed of all dashed fools And never would he steal a dog again, No (strite!) he would not. He recalled the rules That teachers taught him in the Sunday Schools And thought on serious happenings and the grave; And with dawn's earliest flush his trousers gave. * * * * * And having waited for a time I went To see him in the hospital. And hours Of earnest converse with the man I spent, Told him of Nemesis and what dark powers Punish our mortal crimes, and brought him flowers, Dog-roses and dog-violets, and read The Eighth Commandment out beside his bed. EVOE. * * * * * _The Daily Telegraph_ on the next Drury Lane melodrama:-- "We are able to say on the very best authority that the idea at the root of the story is of a quite unusual nature; indeed, if secrecy were not for the moment imposed, one might even go a step further and declare it to be of startling originality." As it is, one doesn't; for if once the secret got about that the play was to be original there would be riots in Fleet Street. * * * * * "Song, 'March of the Men of Garlick' (Tune, Welsh melody)." _Ripon Observer._ A pardonable mistake. The national emblem is of course the leek. * * * * * [Illustration: THE WOOING. MISS ULSTER. "AN' WHAT'S THE GOOD OF HIM SENDIN' ME FLOWERS WHEN I'VE TOLD HIM 'NO' ALREADY?" MR. PUNCH. "WELL NOW, COME, MY DEAR--WON'T YOU JUST TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THEM BEFORE YOU START TURNING UP YOUR PRETTY NOSE?"] * * * * * [Illustration: "A HOLLOW DEMONSTRATION." (_With acknowledgments to GILLRAY'S caricature of NAPOLEON as Gulliver among the Brobdingnagians._) [Mr. D. M. MASON'S motion for the reduction of the Supplementary Navy Estimates was defeated by 237 votes to 34.]] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. (EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.)