We regret to learn that an attempt to teach a modern Office Boy manners has failed. A friend of ours met his Office Boy in the street, and the lad merely nodded to him. To shame him the Master raised his hat with mock solemnity, at which the lad said, "That's all right, but you needn't do it." * * * The fashion, which originated on the Continent, of having the face and neck painted with miniature works of art is reported to be spreading to London. And the practical Americans are said to be considering a further development in the form of advertisements on the face by means of neat inscriptions, such as "Complexion by Rouge et Cie," "Teeth by Max Gumberg," and "Dimples excavated by the American Face Mining Co." * * * "England," says General CARRANZA, "is the world's bully." The General must please have patience with us, for there are signs that we are improving. In the same issue of the evening paper which reported this dictum of his the following announcement appeared under the heading "LATEST NEWS":--"There were no bullion operations reported at the Bank of England to-day." * * * * * [Illustration: _Curate_ (_forte_). "... TO HAVE-AND-TO-HOLD." _Bridegroom_ (_deaf_). "EH?" _Curate_ (_fortissimo_). "TO--HAVE--AND--TO--HOLD." _Bridegroom._ "TO 'AVE AND TO 'OLD." _Curate._ "FROM--THIS--DAY--FORWARD." _Bridegroom._ "TILL THIS DAY FORTNIGHT!"] * * * * * BYLES FOR THE BILL. [In a letter addressed to _The Times_, headed "PASS THE BILL AND TAKE THE CONSEQUENCES," Sir WILLIAM BYLES makes the statement:--"I for one will take the risk without hesitation."] Darkling I sing. Ere Tuesday's hour for tea Shall set this doggerel in the glare of day, He who adjured us still to "wait and see," He will have tweaked the mystic veil away, And you will know--whatever it may be. You, but not I; for I have yet to wait. Far South, beneath (I hope) a stainless sky The pregnant news shall find me, rather late, Powerless to watch the ball with steadfast eye Through sheer distraction as to Ulster's fate. Fain would I have upon my well-pricked ear Such tidings fall as prove that party pride Yields with a mutual grace. And yet I fear These desperadoes on the Liberal side-- BILL BYLES (for one), the Bradford Buccaneer. "Pass"--so he boldly writes--"the Bill and take (His conscience will not let him run to "damn") "The Consequences." That is why I shake Even as when the shorn and shivering lamb Observes the wolf advancing in his wake. I see him bear, this dreadful man of gore, A brace of battleaxes at the slope; I see him fling his gauntlet on the floor, And (shouting, "BYLES for REDMOND and the POPE!") Let loose the Nonconformist Dogs of War.