Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 18, 1914 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 18, 1914Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 18, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Circumstances provided TIM HEALY'S opportunity. Seized it with both
hands. On behalf of Liberal Party, PREMIER proposed the vivisection of
Ireland. JOHN REDMOND consented. Plan submitted was that four counties
of Ulster might, if they pleased, be excluded from operation of Home
Rule Act for period of six years.
"Would any sane Britisher," TIM asked, "embark upon civil war for the
difference between six years and 666 years?" As he mentioned the Number
of the Beast TIM turned to regard the Irish Leader perched in corner
seat at top of Gangway. "Why should not the hon. gentleman give up that,
as he has given up everything else? The remains of his principles
ornament every step of the Gangway."
_Business done._--Second Reading of Home Rule Bill moved. Debate
adjourned for indefinite period.
_Tuesday._--Prospect of CHANCELLOR OF EXCHEQUER brought up at Bar by
RANDLES and CASSEL attracted big House in spite of trial opening in
mid-dinner-hour. As the quarters of an hour sped benches continued to
fill up till, when LLOYD GEORGE rose to offer his defence (which
speedily merged into form of attack), there were fully live hundred
present.
Prisoner indicted on grounds of repeated inaccuracy, particularly on
account of ineradicable tendency to speak disrespectfully of dukes.
Nothing could be nicer than manner of prosecuting counsel. They were
there to discharge a public duty as champions of the truth, vindicators
of desirable habit of abstention from exaggeration.
"I am," said RANDLES, "not here to be personally disagreeable to the
CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER, whom I have always found genial and
courteous."
As for the junior counsel, he was affected almost to tears in prospect
of task jointly committed to him.
"I do not wish," he said in his opening sentence, "to make anything I
say more offensive or unpleasant than--than the necessities of the case
warrant."
Ribald Radicals laughed loudly at this way of putting it. With the more
sober-minded its ingenuousness had favourable effect, maintained
throughout admirable speech.
No one enjoyed the affair more than prisoner at the bar. Like his great
prototype, LLOYD GEORGE is never so happy as when, with back against
wall, he turns to face an attacking host.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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