And, when their owner's startled, show A healthy blush of indigo.) Her sense of artistry appears In what she does about her ears; With colours of the naval sort She marks the starboard from the port. Her lips are lemon; underneath Appear her willow-pattern teeth. * * * * * But when, to serve another end, She threatened to adopt a blend Of tints with which I cannot cope-- The green and white and heliotrope, "You know," said I, "your business best; Myself, I lose all interest. In other words, it may be said, My love for you is frankly dead." "Alas," she answered, "and alack!" ... Her nose is now in mourning (black). * * * * * [Illustration: "TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION."] * * * * * NEW FEUILLETON. BEGIN IT TO-DAY. JOSEPH LATE-USHER. By CLEVER MAURICE. CHARACTERS IN THE STORY. THE DUCHESS OF KIMBERLEY (Ruby), a svelte aquiline-nosed woman of some forty summers, with green hair and two aigrettes. She has been a widow for a lonely decade. THE EARL OF JOBURG, her son Guy, aged thirteen, who is about to go to a public school, where he will be kidnapped for ransom. LORD ARTHUR BOOBITRAPP, his uncle, who discusses the question of the school with the Duchess. Lord Arthur is in favour of Eton, as he wishes Guy to be a wet Bob and captain the cricket eleven; whereas the Duchess, having a penchant for yellow stockings, favours Christ's Hospital. In the end they compromise, and the boy is sent to a small private school in Bermondsey, where the chief usher is JOSEPH LATE, a superb creature with a wonderful personality. Joseph not only ushes the school but loves the Duchess with a consuming love, and a year after Guy has been at the school and defied all efforts to kidnap him he tells the Duchess of the inflamed state of his cardiac penumbra. No sooner has he done this than he trembles all over at the presumption of a poor usher thus daring to address a Duchess; but the Duchess falls in his arms, for beneath her aigrettes she is woman too. MR. VERTIGO applies for the post of science master at the school, and, having seen Late kill a man many years before and escape punishment, gets it. Every time you see Vertigo's name you may expect trouble. DICK BOOBITRAPP is a kidnapper and a confederate of Vertigo. DR. SAUNDERSON is a kidnapper under the guise of a writer of prescriptions. In spite of all precautions, such as employing only detectives as servants of the school, Guy is kidnapped. The Duchess and Joseph Late hurry to Spain to seek him, not because they know him to be there, but because Spain is a likely romantic country. * * * * * CHAPTER CCCXLVIII. "Tell me the worst," said the Duchess in strong ringing tones, all the mother coming out in her anguish. But the reply came in unfamiliar tones.