"Are we not having just a little too much London? A glance over our rapidly growing fixture list suggests that the predominance of the great Metrolopis in matters of golfing is becoming rather too pronounced."--_Golfing._ It's not fair to the privonces. * * * * * "Members of the Chicago Bachelor Girls' Club, who number sixty at present, say they must receive affirmative answers to this list of questions before they will marry: ... Have you bad habits, such as drinking or smoking to excess?..."--_Daily Mirror._ "The answer is in the affirmative." "Then I am yours." * * * * * A SIGN OF DECAY. (_A bull recently got into a china shop, but was coaxed out before any damage was done._) WE cut but a decadent figure; Our virtues grow sickly and pale; Our forefathers' valour and vigour Live only in poem and tale; Our thews are beginning to soften; No more are we sturdy and hard; These facts have been often and often Explained to the bard. But still to despondent repining He never consented to yield; For comfort amid our declining He looked to the beasts of the field; Though others grew haggard with grief, he Maintained a refusal to quake So long as our bulls remained beefy And a steak _was_ a steak. But now there _is_ cause to repine, a Dread portent of what to expect: A bull has got loose in the china And nothing, no, nothing's been wrecked. Where fragments were wont to be scattered Like forest leaves under a gale Not even a saucer was shattered By a flick of the tail. Oh, say, can this care for the teacup Proclaim that the common decay Is busting the bovine physique up And hasting the horrible day When the bard, too, must take up the story That the halo of England grows dim, Since the beef, whence she gathered her glory, Is void of its vim? * * * * * Honours Easy. "£25 Reward. Lost, either at Folkestone Harbour or from a Pullman Car, a Gentleman's Fur Coat, lined with minx." _Morning Post._ * * * * * "Miss Trenerry, wearing a coat of rose charmeuse, with white fur collar, and several gentlemen."--_Express and Echo (Exeter)._ * * * * * "Young Man requires board and lodging in Carshalton; hot and cold bath preferred." _The Herald (Sutton)._ He can't have it both ways at once. * * * * * "At the Gare de Lyon this afternoon Rolland was welcomed by General de Castelnau, who embraced him and took his arm to the buffet of the station, where a reception was held."--_Daily Telegraph._ General DE CASTELNAU. "_Donnez-le un nom._" * * * * * [Illustration: _Tommy (his first visit to Madame Tussaud's)._ "MUMMY, CAN'T THAT MAN TALK EITHER?"]