E-text prepared by Neville Allen, Malcolm Farmer, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 24720-h.htm or 24720-h.zip: (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/7/2/24720/24720-h/24720-h.htm) or (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/7/2/24720/24720-h.zip) Transcribers note: Stage directions are enclosed by equal signs (example: =Enter=). PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOL. 146 MAY 20, 1914 CHARIVARIA. It is comforting to know that we need not yet despair of human nature. Even the most abandoned politician may have one redeeming quality. For example, _The Express_ tells us that Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL is a reader of _The Express._ * * * It is reported to be the intention of General BOTHA to visit this country in June or July, and the Labour Party here are said to be already taking steps with a view to having him deported as an undesirable. * * * If Mr. HENRY CHAPLIN has been correctly reported he is even more of a reactionary than most of his opponents imagined. In the course of the debate on the Sunday Closing Bill he is said to have delivered himself as follows:--"Drunkenness is diminishing, and I say Thank God; long may it continue." The pious ejaculation would seem to be an expression of gratitude for the joys of inebriety. * * * "Does the nightingale really boycott the land of Llewelyn and Mr. Lloyd George--and why?" asks an anxious inquirer in a contemporary. If it is so we suspect the reason is a fear on the part of the bird that the CHANCELLOR may get to know of the rich quality of his notes and tax him out of existence. * * * Mr. GEORGE STOREY has been elected a Royal Academician. This will surprise no one. Burlington House has always favoured the Storey picture. And as regards Mr. H. S. TUKE, who was promoted at the same time, his serial tale, "Three Boys and a Boat," has now been running for quite a number of years. * * * "English," says Mr. BALFOUR, "is abominably difficult." But Erse is worse. * * * Despatched at Teddington twenty-three years ago a postcard has just been delivered at Walton-on-Thames. The postal authorities trust that the publication of this fact will induce people to exercise a little patience when they do not receive correspondence which they expect, instead of at once jumping to the conclusion that it has been lost. * * * As a consequence of recent outrages at the Royal Academy the Council is reported to be testing "unbreakable glass." No doubt the Indestructible Paint Company is also circularising artists. * * *